A Valentine’s Day Make-Out with my Daughter
Okay, so the title isn’t exactly PC. Sure, they tell you not to make-out with your kids, but sometimes it’s a fine line between so cute and ummm, scary. What parent doesn’t secretly love it when their child says they want to marry them? I mean for how many years are they going to want to make-out with, hug, snuggle, or hold your hand?
This morning my daughter came in to wish me a happy Valentine’s Day, to give me a stunning hand-made card, and to neck. “Oh, this card is awesome. Come give Mommy a kiss,” I said in a very innocent non-incestuous way. My daughter, maybe wanting to show me the magnitude of the holiday, grabbed my face with both hands and planted the biggest smooch on me, I almost started to giggle mid-peck. But, she wasn’t done; she started turning her head from side to side in her best iCarly imitation. “Ummm, okay cutie,” I said feeling partly amused and partly violated.
“But, Mommy I want one more kiss,” she said as she came in for another.
“Hon, you gotta save those kinds of kisses for your husband and pillows” I said, as if they’re in limited quantity. “I think you’re confused my love, we don’t kiss Mommies or Daddies or Brothers or cousins or friends like that. It’s inappropriate.” I feel I have the “inappropriate” convo way more than any mom of a 5 year old should, but “inappropriate” beats “slutty” any day –though I was thinking, you’re not allowed out of the house until you’re 20.
“Hey, you wanna go on a date?” she asked ignoring me, and coming in for another.
“What???”
“Yeah, let’s go on a date and kiss and get some lollipops!” She said trying to woo me, and then planted another smack on my lips.
“Sure, I would love to go on a date and get lollipops with you.” What? For how many more years will she want to date me? The days of her telling me I am “so gay” and asking me to drop her off a block from the mall, so she doesn’t have to be seen with her queer mom, are around the corner. If she wants a lollipop date, I’m in. “Let’s go, but we gotta stop making-out.”
“But Mom, I love you sooo much” she said squeezing me tight.
Awwww, let’s just hug and be in this moment, I thought until she followed up with “I want to puke of love!”
Okay, so she’s a bit confused, but she said it in her “sexy voice,” which means it was a compliment. I will overlook the fact that it also means it was an attempt to pick me up.
PS my son’s card simply read: Will you be my valentine? I will be yours, if you will be mine… just asking.
To you, my insecure child, that doesn’t want to make-out with me, but I hope still wants to marry me, “Yes, 1000 times yes. You make me want to puke of love!!!”
Have a HAPPY V-DAY!!! even if it’s mildly inappropriate. More great V-day articles: Happy February 14th
Hallmark and Ovation card writing contest
February 14th, 2010 at 1:42 pm
LOVE IT! Hope to meet my little cousins one day, before they’re not so cute anymore. I still love rubbing my girls’ tussies (clothes ON) but they won’t let me do it anymore. Daughter #1 came into my room this morning and announced, after learning what my husband got for me, that I had to seriously “up the ante.” Apparently the chocolate bar with almonds and a homemade card I am giving him is no comparison to what I’m getting. Sigh ~ the ONE year he decides it’s not just a Hallmark holiday! Running back out to the stores … Enjoy ~ K.
February 14th, 2010 at 1:52 pm
My kids regularly attempt to smooch me on the lips and I don’t even know what to say…I hate to squelch the love, but I do feel a bit inappropriate about the whole thing…at least there isn’t any tongue.
February 14th, 2010 at 2:07 pm
As soon as she said, “I want to puke of love!” I realized you don’t need to lock her in the closet…just yet…
Thanks for the linkage! I won’t kiss you, but how about a nice high five? That is the truest expression of love anyway, isn’t it??
And you’re on the buffet table…it gets a little warm under those lights, but some of those other dishes will compliment you well…
*high five with sanitized hand*
February 14th, 2010 at 2:37 pm
OMG, this is just too funny for words-but somehow you found them. I love that kids are politically incorrect!
Freud must be be nodding sagely in his grave, and waiting for the tables to turn.
Thanks for sharing!
February 14th, 2010 at 2:46 pm
ADORABLE and sooo not pc!
My 6ys totally skipped me this Valentine’s day and made a card for his 16yo brother! For a second I felt unloved but my 4ys made up for it with a beautifully, illegible scribbled up card. Every time he reads it to me it says something different but just as sweet.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
February 14th, 2010 at 4:06 pm
BAhahaha!!! This is so hysterical!!!! We have had the same problem with the iCarly type kisses here to – heeeheeee – so glad we aren’t alone!
February 14th, 2010 at 9:00 pm
It’s a lucky mom who has the forever love of a child. These are beautiful times to etch in your mind. As you’ve already seen by the time a child is eight the undying love for mom stage wanes but thank your lucky stars it only wanes a little.
February 15th, 2010 at 12:47 am
jenny, clearly this 5-yr. old going on 15 has seen tooooooo much about relationships and love. and these days you have popular young actresses who with boyfriends and girlfriends. confusing enough for a teen, but it must be so confusing for your sweet, innocent, little angel.
well, i guess i’m glad it’s you and not me! i wouldn’t know how to handle this! thank goodness, i have boys!
but the “puke of love” got me chuckling out loud! while i’m sure she’ll grow out of this, i’m wondering if she needs to go “cold turkey” on all “girl” media. my boys were watching winnie the pooh and thomas the tank engine at that age! must be that evil disney and their preen girl entertainment that’s corrupted her. i always knew that mouse in orlando was evil!
February 15th, 2010 at 1:49 am
my 6 year old sometimes insists on doing the same thing. I just tell her that I’m seeing somone.
February 15th, 2010 at 2:46 pm
Oh my gosh you’re the lead singer for the British band Republica. I am freaked out and jealous all at the same time.
Yes this does make sense.
February 15th, 2010 at 11:39 pm
Oh, I love the cards that are scribbled and read different every time.
Karen, seriously, no complaining about nice gifts.
IKim- right, the puke comment means I still have a chance to work on this one btw, do I look like the lead singer or sing like her?
Disney channel is all about the smooching, that iCarly is cute, but slutty.
J from the B
February 17th, 2010 at 1:52 pm
I was out of town a few weeks ago and called my kids to say goodnight. My 4YO told me, “Mom when you get home I am going to kiss you until your lips bleed!” Call me a sicko, but that was music to my ears. (And on an only semi-related note, on v-day she said, “Mom, if you’ll be my valentine, I’ll let you lick my feet!” I replied, “That’s kinda gross.” Her retort: “You wouldn’t think so if you were a cat!” She sort of had me there.
February 17th, 2010 at 3:39 pm
So cute!! Love kisses from my kids – any kind!
February 18th, 2010 at 10:49 am
what a gem Jenny! I want to marry your daughter! now you can really worry…
February 22nd, 2010 at 11:02 am
I love your story! I remember when my daughter used to do that when she was five (way before icarley). The kisses would go on forever, and I would pretend to be smothering after about 40 seconds. No, they don’t last forever…Later, when she was a teen, she would hug me for too long, until I would squirm and say, “Ok, too much physical attention!” I guess that’s what I get for attachment parenting
Now I have a six year old boy, and while he doesn’t give me the movie kiss, it is nice that he wants to kiss me on the mouth – it sure won’t be happening in five more years! I am appreciating each little bit of sugar while I am getting it.
February 23rd, 2010 at 10:43 pm
Victoria, oh I love the sugar!!! Jenna, too funny, yet not surprising coming from you.