Okay, so the title isn’t exactly PC. Sure, they tell you not to make-out with your kids, but sometimes it’s a fine line between so cute and ummm, scary. What parent doesn’t secretly love it when their child says they want to marry them? I mean for how many years are they going to want to make-out with, hug, snuggle, or hold your hand?
On February 14th last year my daughter came in to wish me a happy Valentine’s Day, to give me a stunning hand-made card, and to neck. “Oh, this card is awesome. Come give Mommy a kiss,” I said in a very innocent non-incestuous way. My daughter, maybe wanting to show me the magnitude of the holiday, grabbed my face with both hands and planted the biggest smooch on me, I almost started to giggle mid-peck. But, she wasn’t done; she started turning her head from side to side in her best iCarly imitation. “Ummm, okay cutie,” I said feeling partly amused and partly violated.
“But, Mommy I want one more kiss,” she said as she came in for another.
“Hon, you gotta save those kinds of kisses for your husband and pillows” I said, as if they’re in limited quantity. “I think you’re confused my love, we don’t kiss Mommies or Daddies or Brothers or cousins or friends like that. It’s inappropriate.” I feel I have the “inappropriate” convo way more than any mom of a 5 year old should, but “inappropriate” beats “slutty” any day –though I was thinking, you’re not allowed out of the house until you’re 20.
“Hey, you wanna go on a date?” she asked ignoring me, and coming in for another.
“What???”
“Yeah, let’s go on a date and kiss and get some lollipops!” She said trying to woo me, and then planted another smack on my lips.
“Sure, I would love to go on a date and get lollipops with you.” What? For how many more years will she want to date me? The days of her telling me I am “so gay” and asking me to drop her off a block from the mall, so she doesn’t have to be seen with her queer mom, are around the corner. If she wants a lollipop date, I’m in. “Let’s go, but we gotta stop making-out.”
“But Mom, I love you sooo much” she said squeezing me tight.
Awwww, let’s just hug and be in this moment, I thought until she followed up with “I want to puke of love!”
Okay, so she’s a bit confused, but she said it in her “sexy voice,” which means it was a compliment. I will overlook the fact that it also means it was an attempt to pick me up.
PS my son’s card simply read: Will you be my valentine? I will be yours, if you will be mine… just asking.
To you, my insecure child, that doesn’t want to make-out with me, but I hope still wants to marry me, “Yes, 1000 times yes. You make me want to puke of love!!!”
Who knows what this year will hold?
Have a HAPPY V-DAY!!! even if it’s mildly inappropriate. More great V-day articles:
LOVE IT! Hope to meet my little cousins one day, before they’re not so cute anymore. I still love rubbing my girls’ tussies (clothes ON) but they won’t let me do it anymore. Daughter #1 came into my room this morning and announced, after learning what my husband got for me, that I had to seriously “up the ante.” Apparently the chocolate bar with almonds and a homemade card I am giving him is no comparison to what I’m getting. Sigh ~ the ONE year he decides it’s not just a Hallmark holiday! Running back out to the stores … Enjoy ~ K.
My kids regularly attempt to smooch me on the lips and I don’t even know what to say…I hate to squelch the love, but I do feel a bit inappropriate about the whole thing…at least there isn’t any tongue.
As soon as she said, “I want to puke of love!” I realized you don’t need to lock her in the closet…just yet…
Thanks for the linkage! I won’t kiss you, but how about a nice high five? That is the truest expression of love anyway, isn’t it??
And you’re on the buffet table…it gets a little warm under those lights, but some of those other dishes will compliment you well…
*high five with sanitized hand*
OMG, this is just too funny for words-but somehow you found them. I love that kids are politically incorrect!
Freud must be be nodding sagely in his grave, and waiting for the tables to turn.
Thanks for sharing!
ADORABLE and sooo not pc!
My 6ys totally skipped me this Valentine’s day and made a card for his 16yo brother! For a second I felt unloved but my 4ys made up for it with a beautifully, illegible scribbled up card. Every time he reads it to me it says something different but just as sweet.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
BAhahaha!!! This is so hysterical!!!! We have had the same problem with the iCarly type kisses here to – heeeheeee – so glad we aren’t alone!
It’s a lucky mom who has the forever love of a child. These are beautiful times to etch in your mind. As you’ve already seen by the time a child is eight the undying love for mom stage wanes but thank your lucky stars it only wanes a little.
jenny, clearly this 5-yr. old going on 15 has seen tooooooo much about relationships and love. and these days you have popular young actresses who with boyfriends and girlfriends. confusing enough for a teen, but it must be so confusing for your sweet, innocent, little angel.
well, i guess i’m glad it’s you and not me! i wouldn’t know how to handle this! thank goodness, i have boys!
but the “puke of love” got me chuckling out loud! while i’m sure she’ll grow out of this, i’m wondering if she needs to go “cold turkey” on all “girl” media. my boys were watching winnie the pooh and thomas the tank engine at that age! must be that evil disney and their preen girl entertainment that’s corrupted her. i always knew that mouse in orlando was evil!
my 6 year old sometimes insists on doing the same thing. I just tell her that I’m seeing somone.
Oh my gosh you’re the lead singer for the British band Republica. I am freaked out and jealous all at the same time.
Yes this does make sense.
Oh, I love the cards that are scribbled and read different every time.
Karen, seriously, no complaining about nice gifts.
IKim- right, the puke comment means I still have a chance to work on this one btw, do I look like the lead singer or sing like her?
Disney channel is all about the smooching, that iCarly is cute, but slutty.
J from the B
I was out of town a few weeks ago and called my kids to say goodnight. My 4YO told me, “Mom when you get home I am going to kiss you until your lips bleed!” Call me a sicko, but that was music to my ears. (And on an only semi-related note, on v-day she said, “Mom, if you’ll be my valentine, I’ll let you lick my feet!” I replied, “That’s kinda gross.” Her retort: “You wouldn’t think so if you were a cat!” She sort of had me there.
So cute!! Love kisses from my kids – any kind!
what a gem Jenny! I want to marry your daughter! now you can really worry…
I love your story! I remember when my daughter used to do that when she was five (way before icarley). The kisses would go on forever, and I would pretend to be smothering after about 40 seconds. No, they don’t last forever…Later, when she was a teen, she would hug me for too long, until I would squirm and say, “Ok, too much physical attention!” I guess that’s what I get for attachment parenting
Now I have a six year old boy, and while he doesn’t give me the movie kiss, it is nice that he wants to kiss me on the mouth – it sure won’t be happening in five more years! I am appreciating each little bit of sugar while I am getting it.
Victoria, oh I love the sugar!!! Jenna, too funny, yet not surprising coming from you.
[...] Is there Valentine’s Day Romance after Kids |Jenny from the Blog Remember when you and your valentine were all sexy and romantic? V-day had so much anticipation, so much build up, and took so much planning. Gosh, I really don’t miss those days. I remember not passing gas for like an entire year to keep the love alive. I think I spent the last 6 months permanently bent over in pain. What, you didn’t think I was gonna go there? Oh, but I did. [...]
i’ve had to have the “that’s inappropriate” talk with my son on many occasions and he is six. i just think he is confused by commercials and promos he sees for tween/teenaged Disney/Nick shows. my husband and i aren’t very PDAish. family members tell us we should be more affectionate in front of him to show him our love, but we’re just not touchy-feely kind of people. i love it when my son wants to hug or kiss me since i know i will be begging for his affection when he’s a teen and he only wants to borrow the car from me or tells me i embarrass him. last year he was hanging out with my bestie’s daughter on her parents’ bed. they were watching a movie and he leaned in and kissed her on the lips. at the time we should’ve talked to them about it but instead we thought it was the cutest thing ever and celebrated their first kiss by jumping up and down and acting like giddy school girls instead of mothers. i figure it’s all innocent now anyway and i’ll worry about it (and lock him in his room) when he is 13.
oh, and when i read “1000 times yes” my mind went straight to the flick Pride and Prejudice and Jane’s acceptance of Bingley’s proposal.
This is so weird. I am reading this post for the first time (because I’m pretty sure I would remember PUKE OF LOVE!) and there’s a comment from ME but it was in response to your “Is There Valentine’s Day Romance After Kids” post…not this one. I wouldn’t bother saying anything except that my response clearly has nothing to do with THIS post so I look psychotic.
Just wanted to clear that up.
Not psychotic.
Byt the way? Love this post! I only wish my boys wanted to kiss me on the lips instead of being 100% certain that I (like all females) possess cooties.
Lori- you are correct. PUKE OF LOVE is hard to forget… also, I reposted your comment with a link to your site because I truly love it, but must have put in the wrong story. MY BAD… will fix it! PS you look no more psychotic than any of your other comments. PHEW.
I used to tell me mom I wanted to bring her with me on my honeymoon. I was 7. Needless to say, that didn’t exactly work out.
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