Because Chachi Loved Joanie, Not Me and Other Reasons I Made Out With Posters in the 80s

Why Does Chachi Love Joanie and Not Me? Reasons We Loved 80s Hearthrobs

Stop leering at me like that … I was 10

Why Does Chachi Love Joanie and Not Me? Reasons We Loved 80s Hearthrobs

If only this was a
pillowcase!

Why Does Chachi Love Joanie and Not Me? Reasons We Loved 80s Hearthrobs

Yes, 1000
times yes!

Look I got why Joanie loved Chachi, didn’t we all? The better question is, why did Chachi Love Joanie … and not me, not us? I went through much of the early 80s asking myself this very question. Why didn’t the 80s heartthrobs I so desperately wanted, not love me back? Because we never met? Maybe. What did Joanie have that I didn’t have? A frizzy boy-cut? A square but endearing older brother?Boobs?

For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why that muscle shirt wearing bad boy from the wrong side of the tracks with the “cool” genes of the Fonze and looks of perfection, wasn’t dating me.

I was sure Scott Baio was just as awesome as Chachi in real life and may have been even better looking, since he seemed to dress more on trend in his 2 page spreads in Tiger Beat. Every one of those posters made it to my wall, where he winked or glared at me in a way that I was pretty certain he wouldn’t do for any other 9 year old girl. (Little did I know, those leering looks he gave me from my walls could have gotten him arrested. Not to mention the kissing we did. I don’t want to brag but we may have gotten to 2nd base … I don’t know who was flatter Wall Scott Baio or me.)

After all that heavy petting I was positive that we had a magical connection through his pin-up. I truly believed this, the way at 9 years old, you may believe that if you have a dream about someone else they may be dreaming about you, or the way you believe there are unicorns disguised as horses and some day one of them will expose it’s true self to you because you are a REAL believer. Then you will ride over a rainbow together where you may or may not meet a live Care Bear. (Of course Funshine would’ve been my first choice, but I would’ve taken a run in with Love-a-Lot.)

That said, I knew that one day Scott would come visit our school for some assembly. You know like a One-to-Grow-On in person? He would probably discuss why I shouldn’t try cigarettes or answer the door for strangers or stick my finger down my throat. Because I knew not to do those things already we were a perfect match. I simply had to have my best friend (you know the one with the other half of my best friend charm?) give him a note that read: Will you go with me? Check a box below, yes, no, maybe. The “maybe” was really just a safety net in case a big celebrity like Scott needed to contact his managers and his mother and make sure he could fit me into his busy schedule. I had thought of everything.

Sadly, that day never came, but the loss didn’t linger (like his glares). He was torn down and replaced with other 80s heartthrobs like: Matt Dillon, Ricky Shroder Rob Lowe …

Why Does Chachi Love Joanie and Not Me? Plus Other Random Things We All Contemplated in the 80s

I’d still let him get to 2nd base!

Tom Cruise, Val Kilmer …

Why Does Chachi Love Joanie and Not Me? Plus Other Random Things We All Contemplated in the 80s

Dodged that bullet, huh?

Kirk Cameron, John Stamos (who has me eating Oikos) and Jason Bateman (who I may have a new poster of, I’m not telling, but if I did it would be somewhere between Ryan Gossling, Bradley Cooper, and Ryan Reynolds).
Why Does Chachi Love Joanie and Not Me? Plus Other Random Things We All Contemplated in the 80s
Wow, I’m a serious wall slut.

Tell me I’m not alone, which 80s heartthrobs leered at you from your walls?

Be Awesome, Share This Post

Be Awesomer, Ask Jason Bateman if He’ll “go” With Me

Related: 15 Random Things I Wouldn’t Know if I Weren’t a Gen Xer

 What Was Hot In the 80′s 90′s and After Marriage – who woulda thought?

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32 thoughts on “Because Chachi Loved Joanie, Not Me and Other Reasons I Made Out With Posters in the 80s

    1. Jenny from the blog Post author

      Well really other than Eddie, I’m with you, but like I said I was super slutty I would’ve made out with almost any one dimensional celeb and there were so so many of those!

      Reply
    2. Meredith

      I am not afraid to admit that I had an 80′s worthy crush on Andy Gibb and could be found, any after-school afternoon, counting the chesthairs on his album cover.

      Reply
  1. Mom off meth

    PRINCE.

    Wall to wall of his purple majesty. I even had one of him in a speedo in the shower. Before manscaping was in style. My dad ripped it off of my wall though, and I ran out and got another one.

    I saw Prince in a club in Minneapolis as an adult. I could jump over him with a running start.
    Mom off meth recently posted…Food is…My Profile

    Reply
    1. Jenny from the blog Post author

      Yes, Prince had his day. But frankly, I could never date a guy with better heels than me… it’s a rule I’ll hopefully never have to put into effect. I once had to break up with a guy who had better hair though!

      Reply
  2. brenda

    Sean Cassidy had my heart and my wall. He was later replaced by Billy Idol, Emilio Estevez, and Judd Nelson (I had a thing for rebels, can you tell?)

    Reply
  3. Val

    I had a big poster of Dukes of Hazard, but all I really needed was Bo. I was certain we would be the perfect couple. I also had a thing for Jon from CHiPs and may or may not have made out with his poster. Val Kilmer, yikes. I totally had the hots for him, but DAYUM!

    Reply
  4. Kristen Cryderman

    My teenage crush was C. Thomas Howell ….. and still is, even though age has not treated him very well.
    My walls were plastered with every Teen Beat, Bop, Tiger Beat, etc. magazine poster I could get my hands on. There were others, but Tommy was the ONE. One side of my walls was angled cuz of the roof so I even put a poster down low angled right over my bed so I could look at him as a went to sleep.

    Reply
  5. KissTheChef

    Shaun Cassidy!! Still love his music! Couldn’t believe that he made an appearance on General Hospital within the last decade as a recurring role….Wow. Audrey is still a favorite song of mine that I found on line and have in my itunes….

    Reply
  6. Leslie

    I was totally convinced that Scott Baio was going to marry me. I was sure of it! But then I moved on to Shaun Cassidy. I have one atrocious school picture in which I am wearing my Shaun Cassidy sweatshirt, my Shaun Cassidy jeans (with his face airbrushed on the front of the right leg–oh yeah!) and my powder blue satin Shaun Cassidy jacket (with same face airbrushed on the back). Good thing they didn’t have stalker laws for 7th graders.
    If I had to pick a poster to hang today, it’d be Mark Wahlberg. I told my hubby if Mark Wahlberg comes a’knockin on the door, I’m outta here. I’m not even packing a bag!
    Leslie recently posted…Saturday Through My Lens: Caribbean CruiseMy Profile

    Reply
  7. Steffj89

    While there were many short lived crushes, Rob Lowe was the one that held my heart the longest….and possibly still could! He is just as hot if not hotter, and now having read his book and listened to him be intereviewed, he is just as cool and fun as I always imagined.
    Steff

    Reply
  8. Jenn

    I loved Gregory Harrison (Trapper John, M.D.) with a 13-year-old, Kissing Potion passion. He introduced me to sexy doctor shows and I’ve never given them up. Patrick Dempsey has turned out rather well, hasn’t he?

    Reply
  9. Jody

    My celeb crushes were Ralph Macchio(?)..you know, the Karate Kid…and River Phoenix. No posters though…I did all of my crushing in secret.

    Reply
  10. Maggie

    When I was younger, it was Shaun Cassidy. Like Leslie, I have a formal school portrait where I am wearing my fabulous Shaun t-shirt. Later on it was John Stamos. I actually had a picture from some magazine where he was with another girl (*gasp*). I cut out a picture of myself and glued it over her face. We were quite a cute couple.

    Reply
  11. Shannon Not Sharon

    I was all about Rick Springfield. I not only put up posters and pin-ups of him, but any and all pictures of him that came my way. All four of my bedroom walls were completely covered in Rick. Yeah, I was a bit obsessed.

    Even though I gave up on his marrying me long ago, I still think he looks good. And I still would totally leave my husband for him if he asked me to. :-)
    Shannon Not Sharon recently posted…Praise the llordMy Profile

    Reply
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