Okay, so this is one of those things that makes me go hmmm? It also makes me seek first aid.
Dear Inconsiderate Woman Who Woos my Dog,
I need to express a grievance, but I’m having trouble putting it into words, mainly because we don’t speak the same language. Could you please refrain from making kissy noises when I am riding my bike with my dog in tow. The last couple times I have taken my dog for a bike ride you have been in the garage next door, cleaning. Though I have not assessed their garage, I don’t recall it being so dirty, but I digress.
You seem to find my dog attractive, and have a habit of calling him in a lip smacking “come ‘ere boy” kind of chant. Has it not dawned on you that I am on my bike and attached to my dog by a leash when you trying to woo him to you? Do you remember the first time you commented and made that kissy sound? When he pulled me off to run in your direction and I was writhing in pain on the cement? I know I don’t speak Spanish, thanks for nothin’ Rosetta Stone, but is falling off a bike and being dragged across the asphalt not a universal sign of distress? Like the tile that you often see on the side of the shallow end of the pool where a man is diving and much to his dismay has cracked his head on the bottom. That picture clearly implies that there is No Diving, no matter what language you speak. You are like some sick person who would push small children into the shallow end, aren’t you? Why do I speak so harshly of you when I don’t even know you? I’ll tell you why, because today you did it again.
That’ll to teach to ride your bike towing your dog. I think she is trying to teach you a lesson…but really she sounds pretty mean to me.
Yep, falling off a bike is pretty painful, especially so for grownups. But an inconsiderate neighbor who repeatedly calls calls your dog while it’s attached to your bike sounds like a sadistic person. When you’re all healed just go over and smack her for no reason. That’ll teach her.
Oh, that’s too funny. No offense. Some people are so clueless. It’s sad.
This one really cracked me up! I feel like Dara and want to say no offense, but I can actually picture it happening.
I’m glad I could be such a source of amusement. Next time I’m kissing the asphalt I’ll remember that.
nothing fun about falling off a bike (this is coming from someone who was “doored” years ago when i was young and slid along the street on my knees). i would’ve been quite ticked!
personally, i don’t mix dogs and bikes. bikes can only go in one direction at a time and dogs can randomly change their direction based on the least distraction.
hope your booboos have healed!