Sometimes Jake, my mush, has these sentimental moments that he doesn’t yet know how to process. He will say things like, “this music makes me want to cry, it’s just so beautiful.” Last night he came in as I was putting Ryan to bed. He said, “I can’t help it I just need to hug you one more time. I don’t know why. I just need to hug and kiss you. I love you.”
Ryan: (Who you can’t buy a hug from.) “What about me? Can you help hugging me?”
Jake: “No, you too Ryan,” He said, ‘cause he’s good like that. (He went over and hugged and and kissed her.)
He left and came back two more times because, in his words, “I can’t help it Mommy, my heart is addicted to you.”
“MY heart is addicted to YOU.” I replied in awe of this immensely touching statement.
My heart is addicted to you, can you even handle it? How beautiful, in a why does my 6 year old understand the concept of addiction, kinda way. Is his father’s heart “addicted” to me? I mean my G-d that’s better than “You complete me,” or “You had me at hello.”
For how many more years will his heart be addicted to me? Will he turn in the middle of his wedding vows, walk away and announce to the crowd, “I just can’t, my heart is addicted to my mommy.” Part of me pathetically hopes so.
My daughter began hosting an intervention. “Can you stop Jake? Can you do it? Can you be brave and strong and stop your addiction?” She was saying, in a breathless distressed Scarlet O’Hara kind of voice. She is just 4 and oddly, also seems to understand the word addiction. You’d think we were all in some kinda 12 stepper.
So, Jake bravely found his manliness and retreated to his big boy room. Within seconds Ryan lunged at me “I, can’t help it I must have a hug. I neeeeed a hug” her voice trailing off as she fainted into my arms. Somewhere the sentimentality was lost, but she definitely wins for most dramatic.