Tag Archives: top 10

40 Things Gen Xers Did Growing Up -That Our Kids Will Never Need to Do

40 Things Gen Xers Did that Our Kids WIll Never Need to Do

Last night, as Ry, my 9yo daughter ran out of the room to grab a blanket she yelled, “Mom, press pause, OK?”

“Um, I would … if we weren’t playing cards.”

Did she really ask me to press pause during a game of UNO?

Kids are so used to being able to can control anything with the push of a button –they can “stop,” and “pause,” and “delete,” and “restart” pretty much anything, including their toothbrushes. It makes playing a game like UNO in this day and age seem pretty archaic.

As a child, I recall hearing Baby Boomers talk about watching black and white television, listening to radio soap operas, or playing 78rpm records … and thinking how totally obsolete those activities are to my generation. As an adult, I realize there were so many things Gen Xers did as a children that my children would currently find beyond antiquated and obsolete or better yet, wouldn’t even understand the need for in the first place.

Here are just a few things my kids will never have to do (some of which I enjoyed very much):

  1. Ignore the B-side
  2. Mail a letter
  3. Use all their fingers to type
  4. Fill an ice tray
  5. Get up to turn the channel (while possibly walking across static causing shag carpets, no less).
  6. Survive with only 4 channels
  7. Blow on a video game cartridge. I still do this with scratched DVDs — it makes my kids laugh.
  8. Write notes in class
  9. Learn to spell
  10. Get information from reference books
  11. Be a part of a family decision in which you decide whether to buy a Beta or VHS player
  12. Write a check
  13. See #11 but sub in Atari and Coleco
vision Continue reading

35 Reasons Moms are Late

35 reasons moms are late

I was never an incredibly punctual person, but but becoming a parent has put a whole new spin on my excuses for being late to meetings, school drop off, parties and appointments. As was made apparent in my “20 Momisms Translated” post, we moms have a lot in common… why should this be any different?

Back in the day, I was late because of the normal stuff, you know, my hair didn’t look just right, my alarm clock didn’t go off, there was traffic on 95… Now, between me barely keeping my head on straight and my kids being out of their minds, my excuses look more like this:

Sorry I’m late but …

1. My daughter’s socks hurt, or as she put it, her socks “hate her.”

2. All of a sudden, none of their shoes seemed to have a mate. NONE.

3. I couldn’t find my keys … they were in my pocket.

4. My kids were fighting over who got to sit in which seat.

5. My daughter’s fingernail was itchy.

6. My son decided to wrestle with the dog rather than simply walk out the door, so we had to roll off the fur, but I couldn’t find the lint roller, so I had to fashion one from masking tape and MacGyver it off.

7. Both my children had to make a last-minute poop.

8. It seemed like a good time for one of them to ask where babies come from. Continue reading

50 Like Totally Random Things I Remember as Like a Child of The 80s

.

After writing a recent post on 15 things I’d never know if I weren’t a Gen Xer, I came to realize that as a child of the 80s, I’m some kind of Generation X genius. I mean, I could be the “Rain Man” of the Gen X set. Seriously, throw some quotes on the floor, I’ll tell you who said them. OK, that test may not work as well as it does with toothpicks in the movie.

But I now see that I’m somewhat stuck in the ’80s, and I kinda like it there. So I thought I’d share some of the most random stuff I remember as a Gen X poster child.

1. Being fairly certain you would one day marry: Scott Baio, Shawn Cassidy, Leif Garrett, River Phoenix, one of the Coreys, Rob Lowe, Andrew McCarthy, Jason Bateman, Kirk Cameron, Matt Dillon, Ricky Schroder, or Tom Cruise.

2.  Jumping on the eyes of the alligator with Pit Fall Harry.

3.  Thinking Flash Gordon had the best special effects ever.

4.  That coffee-flavored sucking candy all elderly people had (before anything coffee flavored was cool).

5.  The random Super Friends like the Apache Chief, Gleek, and Samurai.

6.  Screaming, “Oh my God, the girl in Sleepaway Camp has a penis!” Continue reading

18 Random Things We Wouldn’t Know If We Weren’t Gen Xers

Oh, I had both those Barbies and the youngest brother Jimmy. WTF was wrong with me?(Oh, I had both those Barbies and the youngest brother, Jimmy. WTF was wrong with me?)

About a week ago I turned 40 …

I was telling a friend that I’d totally trade in my Gen X status for that of a 30 year old hipster who wears black rimmed glasses (yet has no prescription)… Then I wouldn’t have to admit that I spent most Saturday nights of my childhood hoping beyond hope that Charo would be the surprise guest on The Love Boat or that somehow Shari and Lambchop would find themselves in an eerie episode of Fantasy Island where Shari was the puppet. (What, I’m the only one who wished for that story line? I think not.)

No, I wouldn’t know a ton of things about pop culture, big hair, or bad TV, had I not been a poster child for Generation X. Things like this:

1. I wouldn’t recall the Facts of Life before Edna’s Edibles burned down and Cloris Leachman took over. I’d say, “Who’s Mrs. Garrett?” and “Tootie on roller-skates, really? I don’t think so.”

2. I wouldn’t know what it would be like to get up to change the channel on the television set or how to adjust bunny ears. (For those non Gen Xers, “bunny ears” is not a photobomb technique.)

2013-09-12-JennyIsenman.jpg

3. I wouldn’t know how incredibly ridiculous and large, I mean gorgeous, my hair could look by spraying my bangs to the ceiling and simply adding an over-sized scrunchie or clip on the top of my head, or an attractive horse mane-creating banana clip to the back of my hair, or how to weave my own ribbon barrettes à la Olivia Newton John in Xanadu.

4. I certainly wouldn’t have learned most of what I know about grammar, science, math and history from School House Rock. To this day, I can tell you who invented the cotton gin, why 3 is a magic number and how our nervous system is like a telegraph line. I’m also fairly certain the Great American Melting Pot is an actual stew made by the Statue of Liberty.

15 Things I Wouldn't Know if I Weren't a Gen Xer... #funny #humor #ecard #genx #generationx

5. Nor would I know what a Yuckmouth is, what to do when I “hanker for a hunk a cheese” or how not to drown my food in ketchup or mayo or goo.

yuckmouth

6. I wouldn’t have diligently listened to Casey Kasem count down the weekly hits while praying Bananarama, Debbie Gibson or The Bangles would take the number one spot (and not have been ashamed to admit it).

7. I wouldn’t know the joy of waking up at 6AM on Saturday morning to catch The Super Friends and wishing there would be a storyline that included one of the random heroes or villains. You know like, Apache Chief, Plastic Man, Mxyzptlk or Bizarro. (Did anyone else think Wonder Woman was hooking up with Aquaman?)

Did anyone else think she was hooking up with Aquaman?8. Plus, I don’t think I would’ve made it through adolescence without “One to Grow On” or “After School Specials.” Frankly, without the likes of Mr. T, David Hasselhoff, Kim Fields or Punky Brewster telling me not to steal or cheat or throw up after meals — I don’t know that I would’ve turned out OK.

9. I wouldn’t know from Corey Apple, Adam Bomb or Sy Clops.

garbage pail kids10. I wouldn’t know the excitement over getting a brand new Brother Word processor (you could type an entire sentence at a time, I kid you not – goodbye white-out).

11. I would have never annoyingly used the phrases and terms: “Where’s the beef,” “Barf me out,” “No Duy,” “Tubular,” “Faced” (as in, “You got faced”) or like the word “like” every like other word in like a sentence. (All to my mother’s dismay.)

12. I wouldn’t have been able to watch (while pretending to be asleep) Eddie Murphy sing “Unce, tice, fee times a mady,” or teach me the word “scum bucket.” I wouldn’t know why Mr. Bill screamed “Oh No,” or why it ’tis better to look good than to feel good.

13. I probably wouldn’t have owned a rainbow assortment of EGs, that we all know were beyond perfection with a pair of simple Keds, or awesome Reebok hightops, or fancied up with a glorious pair of shoe boots!

14. I wouldn’t have attempted to do the flash-dance quick-toe-tap and hair swing while wearing leg-warmers and a splatter painted, off the shoulder sweatshirt for my 4th grade talent show. (Oh, if I could erase that day! Alas, I cannot — years of therapy says so.)

15. I wouldn’t know what it’s like to use my allowance to buy the Beastie Boys License to Ill album (as in LP), and play it on my awesome record player with mono AND stereo… nor would I understand how speakers were also furniture… mine were used as makeshift bedside tables.

16. I wouldn’t know the feeling of getting a Cabbage Patch Kid after being on a wait-list at Caldor that felt like an eternity — and not even being able to pick the one I got, but loving her/him nonetheless. Extra points if you can remember the name, mine was Mitzy Shirley.

17. I wouldn’t be able to wow my children with my awesome dance moves including: The Running Man, the Roger Rabbit, the Cabbage Patch, the MC Hammer, the Robot, the Sprinkler, the Shopping Cart, the Walk the Dog … Oh, I’m goooood.

18. And those references to winding cassette tapes with a pencil that you see on Facebook — I’d see them as meaningless graphic designs to be silk-screened onto a tee shirt. 

cassette

Shit, did I age myself saying silk-screened?

I meant iron-on.

No?

Glitter decal?

Still no?

Acid washed? Stone washed? Distressed?

Getting better?

Organic? Composted? Made from hemp… green coffee… some material that wicks sweat?

Fine. I can’t fool myself or anyone else, and when I look back at all the crap I got to enjoy, I kinda don’t want to. So, I’ll embrace it!

Gen Xers are like totally awesome…

school house fock

Happy 40th to ME!

PS Am I the only one who remembers this shit??? Test me: What wouldn’t you remember?

BE AWESOME, LIKE THIS POST AND JOIN ME ON FB

BE “AWESOMER,” TAKE ME SHOE SHOPPING!

POSTS YOU’LL TOTALLY RELATE TO:

5 Things Gen Xers Did Growing Up That Our Kids Just Wouldn’t Understand

What’s Was Hot in The 80s and 90 vs What’s Hot After Marriage (Who Woulda Thought?)

40 Things Every Mom Should Have or Should Know by 40

The Most Embarrassing Moment You Never Had in the 80′s (But I Did)

Don’t miss the humor, sign up for notifications … (I promise not to hock Viagra):

50 More Things I Remember as a Child of the 80s

garbagepail

After writing Tuesday’s post on things I’d never know if I weren’t a Gen Xer, I came to realize that I’m some kind of Generation X genius. I mean, I could be the “Rain Man” of the Gen X set. Seriously, throw some quotes on the floor, I’ll tell you who said them. OK, that test may not work as well as it does with toothpicks in the movie.

But I now see that I’m somewhat stuck in the ’80s, and I kinda like it there. So I thought I’d share some of the most random stuff I remember as a Gen X poster child.

1.  Being on a wait list for a Cabbage Patch Kid and not even being able to pick the one you wanted (bonus points if you remember its name — mine was Mitzy Shirley and she had the dreaded short curly hair).

2.  Jumping on the eyes of the alligator with Pit Fall Harry.

3.  Thinking Flash Gordon had the best special effects ever.

4.  That coffee-flavored sucking candy all elderly people had (before anything coffee flavored was cool).

5.  The random Super Friends like the Apache Chief, Gleek, and Samurai.

6.  Screaming, “Oh my God, the girl in Sleepaway Camp has a penis!”

7.  What kind of G-news Gary Gnu shared.

READ MORE:  (Right click and open the READ MORE in a new tab or window, so you can come back and read Part One – 15 Things I Wouldn’t Know If I Weren’t A Gen Xer)

Top 12 Resolutions for 2014 – For People With No Willpower Whatsoever

12 Resolutions ANYONE Can Keep For 2014 - Even those with no willpower whatsoeverI’m so tired of looking back at the resolutions of the past year and realizing they lasted no longer than a week, which is why this year, my resolutions for 2014 are way less ambitious.

1. Gain Weight

I’m going to quit all good eating habits ASAP. I vow to add carbs to my diet with reckless abandon. I’ll start each meal with a generous helping of bread and rolls onto which I will spread an obnoxious amount of butter. I’ll stuff food into my mouth with such fervor it’ll make other diners uncomfortable to watch. I also vow to eat everything à la mode, including ice cream.

2. Forget an Old Language

This year, not only am I not going to learn a new language, I’m going to let my brain atrophy to forget the one I already know. I’ll watch endless episodes of Adventure Time and Regular Show. I’ll quit doing crosswords and speaking in complete sentences. I’ll break all grammatical rules: I will misplace modifiers, dangle participles and end sentences in prepositions. I will express my thoughts through that African clicking language, modern dance and a set of bongos that I intend to wear around my neck.

3. Be Less Patient

I vow to be aggravated, exasperated and ready to blow my stack at the slightest misstep. The next time my son wants help with his homework I’ll say, “That’s it! Clearly this whole elementary education thing is not for you. If you don’t know how to spell ‘Discerning’ by now, you never will… Now, go get a job! Oh, and take your sister with you, she spends way too much time on the potty.”

4. Workout Less

This will actually take serious effort. The only thing harder would be to shower less. If I need the proverbial cup of sugar, I will drive to my neighbor’s door and beep until she comes out and hands it to me. I’ll take elevators in two-story buildings. Lastly, I’m going to cancel my gym membership and use the money I save to buy more ice cream.

5. Nag More

For over a decade, my husband has not picked up a wet towel, washed ketchup off of a dish, changed a light bulb or remembered trash day without a divorce threat — ahem — friendly reminder. This year, I vow to be relentless in my nagging. I will lay immediate blame using words like “always” and “never.” As in, “I always,” and “you never.” I will amp up the guilt with, “I do everything around here” or something unarguable like, “It’s obvious by your refusal to change a light bulb that you don’t love me anymore.” If all goes well, I’ll be nagging him to go to couples therapy by 2015.

6. Stress More

I vow to lose sleep thinking about planning parties, redecorating my house, trying to budget, missing appointments, teacher conferences and health issues caused by stress. I will laugh an evil cackle while erasing all the plans from my iPhone and then cry over what I’ve just done. I will empty our bank account on frivolous investments and watch it dwindle away. Oh, wait… that already happened. Well, good, more for me to worry about.

7. Become Addicted to Something

Smoking, alcoholism and Starbucks are too run o’ the mill. No, this year I vow to pick up a unique dependency that people can really talk about, like an addiction to hand sanitizer or sniffing hot glue from DIY projects. Or at least something beneficial to my endurance, like crack. Look, I already have a shopping addiction, so that’s out and I do love me some reality TV; maybe I could offset the bills with a robust gambling problem.

8. Binge-Watch More Television

My stint with Breaking Bad (4 seasons in 2 weeks) was child’s play. I’m going back to 2000 and watching every series that was made this millennium – in its entirety. I’m talking all of them: Weeds, Lost, Mad Men, Nip Tuck, Game of Thrones, iCarly … Reba. It may take all year, but I will never let another reference go over my head.

9. Gossip More

I vow to talk about everything you do in the New Year. If I see you at the pediatrician for so much as a flu shot, I will tell everyone your child has hand foot mouth so you can be verbally assaulted when you show up at a birthday party the next day. If you look too skinny, I will assume it’s a divorce or you’re a raging bulimic. If you look too hot, I’ll call it a torrid affair. If you look too young, it’s an addiction to surgical procedures because you’re getting divorced, due to a torrid affair.

10. Wear Nothing But Sweats

I’m so darn tired of getting dressed in the morning and frankly, what’s the point? It’s an act in futility (like making the bed), as I’m just gonna need to get undressed later. No, I’m going to wear things that would look equally good with Uggs as they would with flip-flops, things I could also sleep in, workout in, and possibly bathe in (if I become too lazy to remove them or throw them in the wash). I’m thinking something that’s fast drying and wicks sweat, and cinches with a drawstring.

11. Stay Out of Touch

This time of year, I’m reminded of the many friendships I’ve let time and space come between. I intend to further that distance. I’m gonna start by rejecting any new Facebook or social network requests. I will also attach a note that reads, “I never liked you in the first place, Sucka!” Lastly, I will cuss out and then hang up on people who call in hopes of fulfilling their own resolution to rekindle old friendships.

12. Hold Grudges

This year, I vow to forgive no one. I don’t care if you step on my toe, or renege on a $5 bet, you will go on “The List” in permanent ink and I will twirl my imaginary handlebar mustache as I think about how to get revenge. I vow to hate you forever and never forget how you wronged me.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

-Jenny From the Blog

What’s your most tackle-able resolution for 2014?

Follow Jenny on Facebook: I Love Jenny From the Blog

Follow Jenny Isenman on Twitter: SuburbanJungle