Who knew the highly anticipated camp phone calls could be such a blow to a relationship? Oh well, when my baby is 1500 miles away from home, and I get a few minutes to talk — It’s every man, ahem mom, for herself!
It’s sleepaway camp time and everyone is getting their calls from the kiddos. I’ve found a pattern, in that I desperately want to strangle my husband after each call. Luckily for me (and not so much my husband), I’m apparently not alone.
Look, us moms are ready. We’ve stayed up until the wee hours waiting for the pictures to download — sometimes hitting “refresh” every minute, (and by minute I mean second) as they download one at a time. We’ve studied them like highly trained CIA agents, analyzing their smiles, their friends, their body language. Continue reading →
Please notice how I’m waving, but no one is looking in my direction… I know, I’m cool.
Here are some of my Mom sorority sisters. You can see why I’m so intimidated, look at them being all judgy!
I’m pretty sure I’m a loser… I spent the morning picking up kids on the Westchester bus and watched as their parents waved until their hands nearly fell off. I tried to put them on a waving schedule, giving each bleary eyed parent a five-minute window to represent the other parents, as the departure was slowed by extra luggage and late arrivals, but they insisted on doing their own waving to show their level of commitment… A gesture lost on their kids, who were too busy reminiscing and meeting new people to look out the windows. As a longtime “waver” myself, I will suggest that next year they have a chiropractor on site or a ‘hand for hire’ to wave with one hand and hold a sign reading, “I’m waving to you Kayla because your mom loves you, but you’re taking too long to go and last year she acquired carpal tunnel.”
As I’ve said in the past, I loved playing with Barbies growing up – LOVED. I’ve been open about this with Ry since her first Barbie doll at the age of, in utero. Some mamas sat with those belly headphones on, I slept with a Barbie standing in my belly button, which made rolling over really uncomfortable.
That said, about a month ago, Ry got this Barbie she really wanted as a reward for getting a vaccination. DO NOT judge me for that — You try telling a 9yo you’ll give her a measles or influenza or small pox free life in return for her to stop hyperventilating and see how that goes…)
i Have an iLove iHate Relationship with the Apple Store. (A little Apple Store humor for frustrated customers who really kinda love that place, like me.)
Last week, I took a trip to the Apple store. Oh, the Apple store. It’s like a Dylan’s Candy Bar for adults. Like it’s namesake, in the Garden of Eden, or in the hands of Snow White’s evil stepmother, APPLE was so inviting… so enticing. There it was, in all of its overcrowded, 8 gazillion watt minimalistic splendor. Continue reading →
When I had my first child, I wanted to do everything by the book. I was so nervous that the tiniest misstep would somehow break the baby. In fact, one of my first pieces was about how shocked I was that they just let me leave the hospital with this infant.
That was me like, 5 minutes ago. I know, crazy right?
OK, in case I haven’t mentioned it, which I’m pretty sure I have, I’m obsessed with blended health drinks. I have the NutriBullet, but when I said I was obsessed with my Bullet people got the idea that I was referring to something I carried in my purse that may or may not embarrassingly start buzzing at an inopportune moment. Of course when I added the Ninja, it just sounded like I’d graduated to BDSM.
So, I will never refer to a blender/juicer by name again, unless I get a masticating juicer (that’s just fun to say). Anyhoo, now that I’m have the anti-aging (A Gen Xers Guide To Looking Young So When You Lie About Your Age People Believe You) column for SmartBeautyGuide.com, I decided to make some smoothies that are aimed at healthy younger looking skin, weight and the aging process specifically … if I can get younger through a glass, I’m all for heavy drinking. Wait, that didn’t come out right either (so far in this piece I’ve come off like a perverted alcoholic … oh, well).
Here are 3 of my favorite anti aging smoothie recipes, and I even made a chart so you can make your own smoothies based on the foods you like and what each food is good for (beauty and anti-aging wise.) I know, that was awesome of me because you can’t find a chart like this ANYWHERE (I TRIED).
Let’s be honest, we Gen Xers were skilled at playing sick, were we not? Our generation had to work hard for a sick day. Many of our parents worked and would have to take a sick day themselves, and let’s not forget, our parents were raised by hard core parents (our grandparents), who sent them to school no matter what. Hello, their parents were the one’s who walked five miles to get to school, up hill, in snow … so a sniffle or the plague wasn’t gonna cut it.
That’s what we had to contend with. Which is why, we learned early on that we had to be Ferris Bueller convincing or we were going to school (heck on occasion we weren’t convincing enough, even when we actually were sick!).
Yes, we truly perfected an art form and nowadays it seems our kids are merely phoning it in. Complaining about random aches, not committing to their performance, it’s embarrassing! Which is why I give their generation this:
8 Tips To Properly Play Sick – How to gain your parent’s sympathy and maybe even regain their respect: Continue reading →