Tag Archives: demi moore

Disgusting Spa Treatments are Too Gross to Consider – or are they?

The EW Factor — Disgusting Spa Treatments

So, you’d like to rub fecal matter of ferrets mixed with the mucus of goldfish on my face? And you’d like me to pay for this? Do goldfish even have mucus? Are you insane?

Wait, what? Courtney Cox does it?

It’ll make me look a decade younger?

Where do I find these disgusting spa treatments and these congested fish?

Yes, in this, the second installment of my new “Gen Xers Who Hate the Effects of Aging Series”  I ask if we are bat shit crazy enough to consider disgusting spa treatments like putting bat shit on our faces???

Just how desperate are we? I can only answer for myself and that answer is “a lot” — I am a lot desperate. And you? Would you? Have you? Will you?

Snail Slime Facial

Snail slime mucus disgusting spa facial

This woman is smiling way too big for someone who has snails on their face.

The use of snail mucus to heal dates back to ancient Greece. Why? Snail mucus contains large amounts of hyaluronic acid, antioxidants and growth factor. It is said to accelerate the recovery process, leave skin glowing and boost collagen. Currently, in parts of Asia, snail therapy involves snails being placed on the face and allowed to “slime” you as mosey around your mug. In the US, so far, I could only find snail mucus masks sans snails.

Where: Thailand, Japan … in the US EscarGlow facial (microneedling snail combo) is offered at plastic surgeon Dr. Matthew Schulman’s offices in New York

Ashton Kutcher has Dashed all my Hopes of Becoming a Cougar

ashton and demiOh Ashton, why? You and Demi were the poster children for May-December romances. You and you alone instilled hope in the thirty to fifty something divorcees everywhere! Your relationship with Bruce and the children. The doe eyes you made whenever Demi walked into a room. The matching white linen suits you wore to the Kabbalah center… Your abs. You made us aging women feel young, beautiful, capable of snagging a strapping, hottie that we would have once thought was sure to be uninterested in an older women.

I was so looking forward to my moment with a recent college grad. Wearing his fraternity letters Continue reading