Tag Archives: aging

10 Hair Myths Debunked – My Aging Thinning Graying Hair Wants to Know

10 Hair Myths Debunked - My Aging, Thinning, Graying Hair Wants to Know...My hair, which was never more than baby fine to begin with, started to fall out as soon as I stopped breast feeding. Yes, when everyone else was losing their hair after giving birth, I was mocking them with my luxurious locks and my big engorged boobies. Of course they got theirs – my boobs and locks that is. The tatas deflated and the follicles ran for the hills, well, my drain.

Now, as I’m getting older, my hair seems to be thinning out even more. This is why I’ve become obsessed with making my hair thicker and also keeping it in my head. It’s also why I’m debunking all the hair myths I’ve fallen for over the years, because frankly, I don’t have time to crack raw eggs on my head and mix them with mayo on a daily basis. To me, that’s egg salad, and it should stay between two pieces of bread. Continue reading

Gen Xers Knew How to Play Sick But Our Kids Don’t – So Here’s a Guide For Them To Stop Embarrassing Themselves

Children These Days Have No Clue How to Properly Play Sick - I'm AshamedLet’s be honest, we Gen Xers were skilled at playing sick, were we not? Our generation had to work hard for a sick day. Many of our parents worked and would have to take a sick day themselves, and let’s not forget, our parents were raised by hard core parents (our grandparents), who sent them to school no matter what. Hello, their parents were the one’s who walked five miles to get to school, up hill, in snow … so a sniffle or the plague wasn’t gonna cut it.

That’s what we had to contend with. Which is why, we learned early on that we had to be Ferris Bueller convincing or we were going to school (heck on occasion we weren’t convincing enough, even when we actually were sick!).

Yes, we truly perfected an art form and nowadays it seems our kids are merely phoning it in. Complaining about random aches, not committing to their performance, it’s embarrassing! Which is why I give their generation this:

8 Tips To Properly Play Sick – How to gain your parent’s sympathy and maybe even regain their respect: Continue reading

All the Threats Came True – My Kids Finally Gave Me an Ulcer

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So, I went in for an endoscopy the other day, mostly because I thought it would be a great way to take an uninterrupted nap and frankly, I’ll do lots of things for a nap (swallowing a camera being one of the least invasive).  Oh, also it was offered by my GI after telling him I’d lost my appetite due to a constant dull aching in my stomach and chest chronic pressure.

Well, if I’m being honest. I called him (he’s a friend) to ask what was going on and by the time he got back to me I’d unfortunately already found the amazingly addictive WebMDsymptom checker.

That’s where hypochondriacs, like myself, are rewarded with affirmation that their hangnail may or may not have gangrene or their inability to remember names is probably due to Gulf War Syndrome.  After a few clicks of filling in symptoms, I was pretty sure I either had GERD or I was going into cardiac arrest. Another reason to keep a defibrillator around the house. (Those things pay for themselves.) Continue reading

Seriously No One Was Going to Warn Me About the Probe?!

Seriously? No one was gonna tell me about the probe portion?

So today, I ended a friendship. A 20 year friendship that started with drinking late nights at on campus bars and toddling half coherent back to a dorm room located somewhere one should be able to walk to — (if only our knees would cooperate). A friendship based on years of learning to be adults (or feigning such) of boyfriends and husbands and children and Bar Mitzvahs. Well, you get the picture.

So why would I let such a deep and meaningful relationship go? Because she didn’t warn me about the an@l probe! Sure, we all say that phrase a lot as in: “I’d bet an an@l probe on it.” Or “A bird in the hand is worth two an@l probes in the… (well you know how that ends)” or the ever popular: “One day if you go to a doctor that I recommend to you for a procedure that I’ve already done and I forget to tell you an an@l probe is involved, you can totally end this friendship, I’ll understand.” You say those things in passing and you never realize that one day you may actually mean them.

Well, today is the day. Continue reading

Beauty Myths Debunked – You’ll Be Surprised

Do you get zits from unwashed pillowcases or cellphones?

Will you age the way your parents age?

Do retinoids make you more susceptible to sun damage or sunburn?

What’s the magic ingredient you should look for in beauty products?

If you were a vampire, would you need anti-aging creams?

On this week’s Jenny Isenman Show, my favorite dermatologist, Dr. Doris Day is back!  You know, the uber famous one I told you I would totally stalk? Well, she answers tons of my insane questions.  Be warned, before you watch, some of the answers are awesome and some may totally piss you off.

Enjoy -

Jenny From the Blog

The questions Dr. Day couldn’t answer: “When the f@ck did I get all these wrinkles.” and “Wasn’t I just going to my prom like last week?” Continue reading

The Jenny Isenman Show | Anti Aging Episode (VIDEO)

This week, on The Jenny Isenman Show, I’m discussing the best fixes for my most worthy adversaries: enlarged pores, wrinkles, sags, uneven skin tone, and cellulite, with the author of Forget the Facelift, (one of my dream guests) Dr. Doris Day. She kinda frequents all the morning shows: Good Morning America, The Dr. Oz Show, The View ... to name a few.

She’s even talked cutting-edge procedures with Barbara Walters on 20/20. I would totally stalk her if I had more time. I tell her about the stalking in our interview, and I’m not gonna lie, she looks nervous about it!

In the segment you will:

  • find out which random place I’ve gotten Botox and why it’s a kind of awesome new trend.
  • learn how heat energy can lift sagging!
  • see a picture of me at prom … in a gold lame dress … that had a turtleneck!
  • see the results of the newest lasers and laser alternatives.
  • learn how to properly berate people who are younger and wrinkle-free (F@ckers)

ENJOY!

If you learned anything from the video, even if it’s that I was super cheesy in the 80′s or that Dr. Day has incredible legs, please like/share it and pass it on to your friends. I’m tryin’ to make this a full time gig!

Behind the scenes extra:  I was sick as a dog when filming and Dr. Day offered to bring me to a walk-in clinic somewhere in the middle of Jersey City at 8PM. Smart, knows her stuff, chills with the stars, and is willing to hang with the sick girl, she was pretty incredible.

XO -

Jenny From the Blog

 

 

 

Who Would NOT Wanna be a MILF?

Double sigh
I fear this story may mean I’ve earned cougar stripes (or should I say spots?).  I mean, there was no official “welcome to the club,” but I find myself wearing more animal print spandex, my gel nails are abnormally long, and I do let out a sigh when I see a meme of Ryan Gosling, so I think all the signs are there.

It was the summer of 2009, my daughter was about to turn 5 and though we were pretty sure she was destined to be a landlubber.  We had tried swim lessons since she was 6 months old — again and again.  We took classes.  We took private lessons.  We switched instructors, and offered rewards. I had made one last appointment, vowing that if this failed, I’d simply keep the baby fence around the pool until she left for college. Continue reading