i Have an iLove iHate Relationship with the Apple Store. (A little Apple Store humor for frustrated customers who really kinda love that place, like me.)
Last week, I took a trip to the Apple store. Oh, the Apple store. It’s like a Dylan’s Candy Bar for adults. Like it’s namesake, in the Garden of Eden, or in the hands of Snow White’s evil stepmother, APPLE was so inviting… so enticing. There it was, in all of its overcrowded, 8 gazillion watt minimalistic splendor. Continue reading →
Let’s be honest, we Gen Xers were skilled at playing sick, were we not? Our generation had to work hard for a sick day. Many of our parents worked and would have to take a sick day themselves, and let’s not forget, our parents were raised by hard core parents (our grandparents), who sent them to school no matter what. Hello, their parents were the one’s who walked five miles to get to school, up hill, in snow … so a sniffle or the plague wasn’t gonna cut it.
That’s what we had to contend with. Which is why, we learned early on that we had to be Ferris Bueller convincing or we were going to school (heck on occasion we weren’t convincing enough, even when we actually were sick!).
Yes, we truly perfected an art form and nowadays it seems our kids are merely phoning it in. Complaining about random aches, not committing to their performance, it’s embarrassing! Which is why I give their generation this:
8 Tips To Properly Play Sick – How to gain your parent’s sympathy and maybe even regain their respect: Continue reading →
Do you get zits from unwashed pillowcases or cellphones?
Will you age the way your parents age?
Do retinoids make you more susceptible to sun damage or sunburn?
What’s the magic ingredient you should look for in beauty products?
If you were a vampire, would you need anti-aging creams?
On this week’s Jenny Isenman Show, my favorite dermatologist, Dr. Doris Day is back! You know, the uber famous one I told you I would totally stalk? Well, she answers tons of my insane questions. Be warned, before you watch, some of the answers are awesome and some may totally piss you off.
Jenny From the Blog
The questions Dr. Day couldn’t answer: “When the f@ck did I get all these wrinkles.” and “Wasn’t I just going to my prom like last week?” Continue reading →
How many moms are stuck in the “Mom Uniform” rut: Grabbing the first pair of comfy sweats/jeans, throwing on a quickie tank/sweater, tying your hair in a pony, slapping on a little gloss, and darting out the door?
The answer: Too many.
Which is why I’ve made a conscious effort NOT to fall into that “mom trap.” OK I’ll admit, I have donned workout wear simply to get out the door when I had no intention of coming within 100 yards of a gym or treadmill. I’m only slightly ashamed of that trick, as I feel it makes me seem motivated, gives me an excuse for not putting together a trendy outfit, and I look a hell of a lot better than I would if I’d actually worked up a sweat! We’ll call it workout glam!
Listen, I’ve given up many things since becoming a mom: perky boobs, solo trips to the restroom, an enormous amount of hair (I had no idea how much hair I would lose after pregnancies) … but the one thing I refuse to give up is being glam.
If that means my stilettos dig deeper and deeper into that weird rubber mulch you find at new playgrounds, so be it. I don’t care if someone has to siphon me out of that veritable quicksand, that little bit of glam is all I have left!
This week, on my show, I get to be the expert! Yes, I impart some of my favorite tips to get a little extra glam (don’t worry, no stilettos are involved). I simply tell you how to enhance your look and glam yourself up, whether you’re “snack mom” at a soccer game or you’re spending Saturday night out with the hubs.
I’ve listed my absolute favorite products below to coincide with the video and my best tips. ENJOY! PS you’ll get to see all my phases of trying to emulate hair-styles of the celebs from “The Dorothy Hamill” to …
1. A girl’s best friend – “Chicken Cutlets” AKA boob enhancers. These are great whether you want to go up a size or fill in volume loss and sagging … plus they bounce baby! Takeouts silicone bra inserts ($48 Bare Necessities)
2. Loooooong lashes – Kim K is not the only one who likes the look of falsies! Lashes enhancing is a must. Yes, I’ve written out how to apply the fakes, but for a quick and easy “I’m a mom, I don’t have time to glue lashes on, ” fix — try Too Faced Better than False Lashes system ($35 Sephora). OK, you’ll need to make 3 passes, but the extra 15 seconds is worth it.
3. A good foundation is the key to many things (younger looking skin, included). My best secret EVER: Purchase the Temptu foundation ($25 Sears) that’s used for airbrush make up machines and apply it with a regular makeup brush or your fingers. It’s amazing because it’s meant to spread super thin via airbrush, plus it’s silicone based, which means it won’t clog pores, and lasts all day. You used to only be able to get it at professional makeup artist stores and sites, but now they’re selling it at Sear! Makeup and a power-drill in the same place, how convenient!
4. Accentuate the positives – a quick highlighter at the top of the cheekbone (like seen in the video) can help make you look more glowy and alert, even if you were up with the baby half the night! I love Moon Beam by Benefit ($26 Sephora)
5. Hair enhancements – EVERY celeb has these, whether it’s a clip on set of bangs, some strips of color, a braid to accentuate their whimsical side, or extra mane for length or volume. I loooove the clip-ins because they don’t damage your hair and they’re shockingly easy to do! I recommend the virgin human hair. I got mine at Aztig, Sheila (the owner) specializes in extensions. She can ship them to be matched and cut by your stylist of she can do a color match for you with photographs.
Can someone explain why I still have “baby brain” when my kids aren’t babies anymore?
So, my Gen X-ers, many of us are years past changing diapers and yet we still seem to have Momnesia. Frankly, my memory … and ability to have a complete thought, has gotten exponentially worse with the birth of each child and the passage of each year.
Look, I can tell you the names of all the characters from The Facts of Life, or The Breakfast Club, but I have no idea where I left my keys, what pending appointments I have, or why I just walked into this room?!
On this week’s episode of The Jenny Isenman Show, my guest Sharon Rowley, (organizational expert/blogger and mom of 6 — freakin’ 6!), and I test our memories, discuss the stupidest shit we’ve done due to Momnesia, and talk tips to get through the day. Continue reading →
This week, on The Jenny Isenman Show, I’m discussing the best fixes for my most worthy adversaries: enlarged pores, wrinkles, sags, uneven skin tone, and cellulite, with the author of Forget the Facelift, (one of my dream guests) Dr. Doris Day. She kinda frequents all the morning shows: Good Morning America, The Dr. Oz Show, The View ... to name a few.
She’s even talked cutting-edge procedures with Barbara Walters on 20/20. I would totally stalk her if I had more time. I tell her about the stalking in our interview, and I’m not gonna lie, she looks nervous about it!
In the segment you will:
find out which random place I’ve gotten Botox and why it’s a kind of awesome new trend.
learn how heat energy can lift sagging!
see a picture of me at prom … in a gold lame dress … that had a turtleneck!
see the results of the newest lasers and laser alternatives.
learn how to properly berate people who are younger and wrinkle-free (F@ckers)
If you learned anything from the video, even if it’s that I was super cheesy in the 80’s or that Dr. Day has incredible legs, please like/share it and pass it on to your friends. I’m tryin’ to make this a full time gig!
Behind the scenes extra: I was sick as a dog when filming and Dr. Day offered to bring me to a walk-in clinic somewhere in the middle of Jersey City at 8PM. Smart, knows her stuff, chills with the stars, and is willing to hang with the sick girl, she was pretty incredible.
“…It may be too late to train our hubby’s to dole out the ego boosting compliments, but our children? Yes, yes (twist handlebar ‘mooostache’ if you have one), we can work with this. Here’s a list of phrases I’d like to teach my children to say. Feel free to borrow it – it’ll make you feel good…”
Not my little girl... but still pretty cute.
The other day my daughter said, “I bet people who just meet us think we’re sisters.” Frankly, that’s a bet I wouldn’t take, but who am I to sneer in the face of lovely sentiment? I mean, that’s the kind of phrase you would have to train (or pay) a child of 7 to say, but no, she did it on her own volition. No, coaxing or prodding, not even in the hopes of getting a new Barbie out of the deal. Though I think a phrase like that deserves a new iPad – at a bare minimum.
The effect of this simple observation, that my clearly brilliant child made, was utter joy- total narcissistic mirthfulness – and that’s not a phrase I use often, as you can imagine.
This got me thinking: If this tiny guileless thought could make me feel so great, why can’t we train our children to say things that will make us feel more hip, young, or smart, and less twitchy or stabby?