Last week, a new mommy called to ask what classes I would recommend. Yes, I have friends with infants, because I’m awesomely cool, also, I was once their babysitter.
I began to reminisce about the myriad classes I took with J (my first, who is now 12). I was under the impression that the more time you spent in various classes, the more socialized and intelligent your child would grow up to be.
Darn if my 3 month old wasn’t going to get a baby massage in a fancy room while he and 10 other babies squirmed uncomfortably. No, I would not be the ogre to rob him of that experience. An experience that would surely be the reason he one day gets accepted to Harvard. Continue reading →
Lately, I’ve been thinking, maybe it’s time to throw in the towel, but then I noticed this… Last night, my site hit 1 MILLION views!!! Yes, I’m in the 1M club… One freaking million. To some that’s a couple of months or minutes, or decades. I’m not as good at math as I claim to be, but for me, it took 5 1/2 years. For me, it took tons of effort and pep talks and rebranding sessions.
When you consider that nearly half of those views were in 2013, 10% occurred in 2014 (which just started, hooray!) and 30% of the views were in 2012, you’ll realize that I spent the first 3 years blogging to no one! So, 1M needs to be noticed!
I tried counting to 1 million, just so that I could feel the gravity of this feat, but I stopped at 7… Continue reading →
Over the years I’ve let some pretty stellar entertainment pass me by, like: Breaking Bad, Weeds, Lost, Shameless, Game of Thrones, Homeland, Mad Men … due to this crazy thing called life. You know life, right? The whole raising a family, having a job, trying to maintain a certain age, weight, and level of sanity (though your body fights you on it) thing? Yeah, that.
I’ve heard how enthralling and addictive these shows are but life got in the way. Well, that’s over. I’ve pretty much given up my life lately to binge watch some of these shows, so that I can have more stimulating conversations with people five years ago.
That said, I’ve found a strange effect from binge watching shows, aside from the one that makes me appear comatose and unresponsive. I start to feel like a character in these shows. Like they’re actually affecting my personality. For instance …
I do so enjoy beauty myths. Frankly, I’m a total sucker for them. Seriously, if someone told me (with great confidence) that I could look younger by applying a mask made with the sap of an oak tree, a smashed up Advil and some kitty litter, I’d say, “No way, that’s ridiculous.” and “Who has a cat?”
That’s why I’ve researched some prevalent beauty myths this week. The verdicts may shock you … into a coma … keep smelling salts nearby and read in the company of a friend or doctor.
Let’s be honest, we Gen Xers were skilled at playing sick, were we not? Our generation had to work hard for a sick day. Many of our parents worked and would have to take a sick day themselves, and let’s not forget, our parents were raised by hard core parents (our grandparents), who sent them to school no matter what. Hello, their parents were the one’s who walked five miles to get to school, up hill, in snow … so a sniffle or the plague wasn’t gonna cut it.
That’s what we had to contend with. Which is why, we learned early on that we had to be Ferris Bueller convincing or we were going to school (heck on occasion we weren’t convincing enough, even when we actually were sick!).
Yes, we truly perfected an art form and nowadays it seems our kids are merely phoning it in. Complaining about random aches, not committing to their performance, it’s embarrassing! Which is why I give their generation this:
8 Tips To Properly Play Sick – How to gain your parent’s sympathy and maybe even regain their respect: Continue reading →
This is the shocking follow up to last week’s post, in which I regaled what I thought was one of the most awkward conversations – the one where I explained to J, (my son who turned 12 the day after) what “motorboating” means (with mock demonstration). If you haven’t read that masterpiece yet, it’s a great point of reference, as I was pretty certain I could not be more uncomfortable until this happened…
After reading said article, Mark called me into our room laughing. “Jenny, I think the joke is on you. You don’t really think the kids in school are talking about ‘motorboating’ do you?”
Me: “Yeah, I do.”
Mark: “You’re so naive… I DIDN’T even know what ‘motorboating’ was… I’m pretty sure they were saying master-bating and he misunderstood. And I bet that’s what your readers thought.” Continue reading →