The brain coach
http://braincoachforkids.blogspot.com/

That one comment stopped me in my tracks. He was right. Why make such a big deal over a simple (or even not so simple) mistake. Instead, you should be remembering all the great things and memories about your kids.

I gave him a huge hug and apologized. My son is 17 now and to this day, I have never truly lost my temper with him or his younger sister. Thankfully, they’ve rarely given me reason to. They’re both great kids and I thank God for them. I also spend as much time as possible “remembering all the good times” we’ve had.

I too have been guilty of the scarlet scream.

The first 35 years of my life I never raised my voice. THEN I HAD KIDS!

I hear that nasty loud person, but I refuse to believe is she is ME.

What I recognize now is that I was really not that passionate about what was going on with others around me to want to raise my voice. I notice that I still don’t raise my voice with others. I don’t own them. They are not mine. Only my children get to hear that crazy women’s voice!

J from the B

ps- Jamile- nice to see you here.

I am a mother of a 4 and a 7 years-old boys and guess what? What you did happens with everyone, specially if you are a working mom.
That is ok! You really reflected in every little aspect of yours and your child’s reaction to the incident, of course bad words are not allowed in good parenting, but sometimes it is not so bad to make your kid wake up and think:…”- Oh, well! my mom is human, she is just like my school teacher, my baby sitter, my next door neighbor, the mom I saw at Publix reprehending her child.. and so on.”
At certain point of my life I had one hr. to commute my son from school to after school care, so I would get done with another four hours of work, and my six years old knew that. One day, when I picked him up at his school, he started giving me orders during the stressful commuting, he said: “-Today I want to stay with mommy, I am not going to stay on my booster sit, you re going to stop to buy me a gift and a snack, I am hungry, don’t you see…” Not only that, he had a lot more repertoire, let us put some more gas on a bottle of seltzer…He started screaming and kicking inside the car, went to the back sit and started trowing all beach toys at me, I stopped the car, breathed deeply and thought in what I should do… and in a flash I thought so much…I was already spending lots of money with counseling for him, which I though was helpful with children’s school anxiety issues and what was happening to my son on that moment was a case for angry management… I guessed! At that point, I already had reduced my work hours to half and I could not had this situation tear me apart. The first time my son had a mild rehearsal on this same bad behavior, I cried, I called my students, rescheduled all my classes and obviously came home with him for a typical mommy and me day.. But, a second time was too much, my soon was then becoming an expert in driving me crazy…I also thought in how unhappy his future wife would be if marring this little angry monster that he was playing to be… oh yep! I thought on that too…
Anyways, we always have water in the car to easy our days….I stepped out of the car, opened the back door from where he was trowing all the toys at me and gave him a water bottle shower right there at Whole food’s market parking lot, then I picked him up, sat him back on his booster sit without a single word ( I didn’t know what to say) and drove him to a friend to change and baby sit him for me.
Ok, after this, my soon respects me a whole lot more… There is famous American/Indian writer, nobel prize that in one of her interviews for the Time magazine she said:”- I don’t want my children to like me, I want them to respect me and at some extend fear me.” Well, at first I red her statement and it didn’t make sense at all, now it falls into place.
I am very much related to child psychology and think it makes sense to understand and raise healthy and happy children and, this mine whole episode was very out of the normal. I never had gone off boundaries before, my students respect me and all people wander how can a most hyperactive child can be cooperative around me … All children, except my 6 years old son at the time…. Then, I learned from my sons therapist that on that situation I would be better off getting a baby sitter to commute my son after school and that too much giving represents weakness at all men kind’s vocabulary.
Never feel guilty, you worked around the situation with love and a bad word as long as it is not something you can’t say in public, doesn’t hurt a child… You knew that and didn’t combine it with any “f” words or something else… Sometimes we hear many horrible parenting at the beach on a typical family day and to cover it up, I immediately talk to my children about it, so they understand there are people that are more patient then others and appreciate me.
Trust me, what you did it is normal, but don’t get use to it, just in case your children start using same words against you. I never repeated the water bottle shower again, we are smarter then we think and so are our children.

Warm regards,

Jamile Nogueira