Interrupting and finishing other people’s sentences is something that many busy people do, ahhem… like myself, and it’s certainly a bad habit worth changing. I am the ultimate multitasking mom, so much so, that I can barely remember the last thought I had, as I have already moved on to 7 others. When I talk to people, I find myself wanting the pace of the conversation to fit into my packed schedule or I may have something to add that is much funnier than what you’re saying and I just can’t wait to say it. If you’re trying to explain your feelings on a subject and I already get what you’re point, I may ever so “politely” hurry you along by either responding before you’re done or telling you “I get it,” while you’re still speaking. If you’re truly lucky, I may help you get your thought across by finishing your sentence for you. I know, no thanks necessary.
So, I recently read an article that discussed the side effects of such lovely behaviors. Not only is it rude (who knew?), but it actually makes the speaker unconsciously feel rushed, nervous, and annoyed; both your pulses speed up, which can cause irritability and a defensive tone to erupt. That would explain the wrestling match I got into with homeless man in the street. What? The light was about to turn, I had to help him along so I could hand him my 26 cents. What again? I don’t keep a lot of change in my car. Sheesh, you people are real sticklers huh? I’m sorry, was I putting words in your mouth again. Well, I’m clearly working on it! BACK OFF!
The fix is simple, be aware. Be in the conversation… on your own end, and allow people to finish their thoughts before chiming in. Make a point to remind yourself of this before going to a meeting, picking up the phone, or having lunch with a friend. *Make a real effort not to interrupt even if you’re 2 paragraphs into the next conversation, unless of course, they are boring the crap out of you. There’s just no excuse for that.
*Note: Effort is only necessary if you are not related to the person you’re conversing with. If you pass gas in their presence (ie. parents, spouse, and children) you are exempt from all totally contrived and unnatural niceties.
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Jenny—Once again you have me ROFLMAO!!!!! I have a client with this same habit, so I try and always keep my conversations with her to a minimum, as I find this habit utterly annoying! But as long they she keeps mailing the checks, I will continue to enable this awful habit! Be well, and you are right about one thing, your stories/endings/additions are funnier than what most people are saying anyway, so interrupt away…who gives a s**t about their lives anyway!!!!
“but it actually makes the speaker unconsciously feel rushed, nervous, and annoyed; both your pulses speed up, which can cause irritability and a defensive tone to erupt”
-The reason that the Fixed News reporter kept interrupting the president in the interview broadcast yesterday. No matter what side of politics you’re on – there’s no excuse for being rude and the President deserves the respect of the office. It’s congress and out local governments that don’t deserve any respect.
I know what you are talking about, I find I lose interest very quickly if the story or point is proglonged or dragged out. So my advice is shorten your thoughts…that’s why they invented shorthand. Lol, Another great subject that you can turn into humorous explanations.
I constantly interrupt others and finish their thoughts, but only because a. I am exceptionally intuitive and b. what I have to say is far more important. Is anyone listening? Anyone?
I totally do this!!! But the reason I do it is not really because what I have to say is any better – it’s really because i have impulse control problems. (I’m bipolar) well that and I do tend to talk to people who drag their comments out like seriously FAR FAR FAR too long.
I think it’s clear to Cherie, Bari, Carol and many others of us, that what we have to say is just more important, or we can’t help ourselves and so, I will continue to try and break this habit, but not that hard.
I don’t mind being interupted. I’m uninteruptable ( is that a word )? Forget I asked, I don’t want to be interupted!! I don’t stop talking, even if someone has tried to finish my thought. I change my thought in order to make that person feel rude, dumb or both. Ive found i’m pretty much guaranteed a receptive, interested and polite audience if I talk to myself. If my conversation with me becomes boring, I end the conversation by walking away.
I hate when people do this, though I totally do it myself. But, when I do it it’s okay, because I’m in a rush and you’re boring me:)
Thank god I found your article!! I do the same thing!! But I didn’t look it at it from the point of view where in fact I m so busy needing to get to the next point that I interrupt in order to speed up the though of the other person and to get trough the conversation so I can finish whatever else I need to do next….BUT its still a bad habit!!! and that habit should be used only when necessary and PLEASE do not try to use it at home, at home what you should do the most is to listen and understand ( spouse, children, parents etc…)
I do that all the time. I’ve been trying to stop it, but it’s a horrible habit to break. I just have way too many things going on and I can’t wait for them to take their sweet slow time.
Sometimes if the person is saying a sentence, and then seems to stall, looking for a word related to the topic being discussed, I will interrupt with the word, and then the other person will repeat the word and continue on with the thought… is this wrong for me to do? I’d really like to know, because I sometimes get the feeling that they’re actually stuck, so instinctively I want to help out, but am I doing more harm than good?
“but it actually makes the speaker unconsciously feel rushed, nervous, and annoyed; both your pulses speed up, which can cause irritability and a defensive tone to erupt”
Actually it makes you feel completely disrespected and lets your audience (cause that`s all we are to you ppl that chronically do this) know that you don`t really want to know who we are and what we believe in. I give you one chance to stop this crap during a conversation and then I completely shut down and let you make an ass of yourself. You usually think you know where I`m going with the conversation, and you are wrong 99% of the time. So I let you yammer on and continue to interrupt me with your “oh-so-superior“ insights and when you finally say something like `do you know what I mean`or `don`t you think so` trying to get me to wrap up the conversation by letting you know we`re on the same page but you just summed it up first (cause you`re just so smart and fast!) that`s when I drop it on you. No, I say, actually my point was this and I sum it up and listen to you stupidly say “oh…..“ and then I hang up the phone or walk away, suddenly I`m the one that doesn`t have time for you–you`re just too stupid to converse with after all. And some of us don`t let you know that that`s what we`ve done…we`re just silently mocking you instead.
It`s quite fun sometimes!!
It`s a good screening tool too.
Well here’s a kicker: Not only does she interrupt CONSTANTLY, but if you try and regain control of the conversation, she’ll interrupt LOUDER! So she can overtalk you in every sense of the word.
How does one handle that? Apparently me stopping dead in the middle of a sentence and closing my eyes and then repeating what I said after she’s done … isn’t getting it.
I had to look this topic up this morning because I met someone in person for the first time after a long and friendly internet correspondence, and she interrupted me to finish all of my sentences, jumping in to guess what I’m going to say and I never got to the end of any sentence, suffering multiple interruptions. I was flabbergasted. In between my attempts to actually express myself (and failing more than half the time) she went on long, completely rambling speeches that went from one topic to another and mentioning people I didn’t know and their mothers-in-law and cousins and then jumping back a topic to something else that was said an hour earlier. I was looking forward to meeting up with this person, who has done me some significant favors in terms of advice and support remotely, and finally had to cut the evening short and go home… I couldn’t take it anymore. This person was like Earful – the more I tried to actually say what I was trying to say, the louder she got. I finally had to surrender and fell silent. I don’t know how anyone can endure this woman – it is completely intolerable.
I’m afraid I do the “finish your sentence” thing too, though I never realized it until it was pointed out to me recently. (I am one of those always-in-a-hurry -to-do-the-next task kind of people, so maybe that’s why. Or maybe I was raised by wolves.) I know it’s obnoxious, but it’s a really hard habit to stop. Most of the time I don’t even know I’m doing it until after I’ve done already it. I’m trying to learn to be mindful of it, though.
I’m working very hard to overcome my interrupting-other-people habit. But I do it because I used to be painfully shy, and I interrupt when I’m afraid the conversation might lag–I’m afraid that silence means I didn’t keep up my end of the conversation.
I have a friend who calls me ‘daily’… She’s married & doesn’t work & I am a ‘single’ retired woman.. We’ve been friends for many years, however, now that I am retired, her calls are ‘daily’, after he husband leaves for work.. When I was working, every day off she’d call me.. Truthfully I don’t have that much of a change from day to day, however, I’ve come to the conclusion that this ‘daily call’ is something I don’t need. She’s continually talking and if I say anything to contribute to the conversation, she’s interrupting me and never lets me finish a sentence or she’s ‘second guessing’ what the end of my story will be.. I have told her on numerous occasions that she’s interrupted me, or to ‘let me finish what I was saying’ but it doesn’t SINK IN…To me, it seems like people who ‘interrupt’ all the time are those that are so AFRAID they won’t be listened to, they have to interrupt so you’ll HEAR THEM… Now, I’m teaching her the ‘computer’ and various new ‘technology’, and there again, I tell her to ‘be quiet and listen’..but I just think her attention span is too short…It’s frustrating and mind boggling that people continue to interrupt you when you’ve told them that they do it all the time… If I’m talking with her husband, it’s continual interruptions, she’s asking him questions and not even contributing to the conversation…or even listening at all to LEARN… I will attempt a few more times to bring this ‘bad habit’ to her attention, but if that doesn’t work, I’ll just ‘hang up’ and talk to her another time…MAYBE… Even when we go for lunch, and we’re across the table from each other, it’s a continual battle to finish a sentence…or if I’m talking to the waitress, she interrupts… Perhaps it’s insecurity or A.D.D… but whatever it is, it’s FRUSTRATING!!
[...] So, as the Dr’s assistant, AKA, the Nurse was putting on the wires to the heart monitor I was to wear for the next 24 hours, I exuberantly said, “The Doctor told me about the valves, that…” At this point she interrupted as if she knew where I was going and thought it a good time to take over (See – Why do people insist on finishing other people’s sentences for more on that one.) [...]