Do You Interrupt People or Finish Their Senten’I Do’
Interrupting and finishing other people’s sentences is something that many busy people do, ahhem… like myself, and it’s certainly a bad habit worth changing. I am the ultimate multitasking mom, so much so, that I can barely remember the last thought I had, as I have already moved on to 7 others. When I talk to people, I find myself wanting the pace of the conversation to fit into my packed schedule or I may have something to add that is much funnier than what you’re saying and I just can’t wait to say it. If you’re trying to explain your feelings on a subject and I already get what you’re point, I may ever so “politely” hurry you along by either responding before you’re done or telling you “I get it,” while you’re still speaking. If you’re truly lucky, I may help you get your thought across by finishing your sentence for you. I know, no thanks necessary.
So, I recently read an article that discussed the side effects of such lovely behaviors. Not only is it rude (who knew?), but it actually makes the speaker unconsciously feel rushed, nervous, and annoyed; both your pulses speed up, which can cause irritability and a defensive tone to erupt. That would explain the wrestling match I got into with homeless man in the street. What? The light was about to turn, I had to help him along so I could hand him my 26 cents. What again? I don’t keep a lot of change in my car. Sheesh, you people are real sticklers huh? I’m sorry, was I putting words in your mouth again. Well, I’m clearly working on it! BACK OFF!
The fix is simple, be aware. Be in the conversation… on your own end, and allow people to finish their thoughts before chiming in. Make a point to remind yourself of this before going to a meeting, picking up the phone, or having lunch with a friend. *Make a real effort not to interrupt even if you’re 2 paragraphs into the next conversation, unless of course, they are boring the crap out of you. There’s just no excuse for that.
*Note: Effort is only necessary if you are not related to the person you’re conversing with. If you pass gas in their presence (ie. parents, spouse, and children) you are exempt from all totally contrived and unnatural niceties.
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March 18th, 2010 at 11:57 am
Jenny—Once again you have me ROFLMAO!!!!! I have a client with this same habit, so I try and always keep my conversations with her to a minimum, as I find this habit utterly annoying! But as long they she keeps mailing the checks, I will continue to enable this awful habit! Be well, and you are right about one thing, your stories/endings/additions are funnier than what most people are saying anyway, so interrupt away…who gives a s**t about their lives anyway!!!!
March 18th, 2010 at 3:15 pm
“but it actually makes the speaker unconsciously feel rushed, nervous, and annoyed; both your pulses speed up, which can cause irritability and a defensive tone to erupt”
-The reason that the Fixed News reporter kept interrupting the president in the interview broadcast yesterday. No matter what side of politics you’re on – there’s no excuse for being rude and the President deserves the respect of the office. It’s congress and out local governments that don’t deserve any respect.
March 18th, 2010 at 5:38 pm
I know what you are talking about, I find I lose interest very quickly if the story or point is proglonged or dragged out. So my advice is shorten your thoughts…that’s why they invented shorthand. Lol, Another great subject that you can turn into humorous explanations.
March 19th, 2010 at 10:56 am
I constantly interrupt others and finish their thoughts, but only because a. I am exceptionally intuitive and b. what I have to say is far more important. Is anyone listening? Anyone?
March 19th, 2010 at 11:37 am
I totally do this!!! But the reason I do it is not really because what I have to say is any better – it’s really because i have impulse control problems. (I’m bipolar) well that and I do tend to talk to people who drag their comments out like seriously FAR FAR FAR too long.
March 19th, 2010 at 6:17 pm
I think it’s clear to Cherie, Bari, Carol and many others of us, that what we have to say is just more important, or we can’t help ourselves and so, I will continue to try and break this habit, but not that hard.
March 19th, 2010 at 10:30 pm
I don’t mind being interupted. I’m uninteruptable ( is that a word )? Forget I asked, I don’t want to be interupted!! I don’t stop talking, even if someone has tried to finish my thought. I change my thought in order to make that person feel rude, dumb or both. Ive found i’m pretty much guaranteed a receptive, interested and polite audience if I talk to myself. If my conversation with me becomes boring, I end the conversation by walking away.
March 23rd, 2010 at 3:44 pm
I hate when people do this, though I totally do it myself. But, when I do it it’s okay, because I’m in a rush and you’re boring me:)
March 24th, 2010 at 1:57 am
Thank god I found your article!! I do the same thing!! But I didn’t look it at it from the point of view where in fact I m so busy needing to get to the next point that I interrupt in order to speed up the though of the other person and to get trough the conversation so I can finish whatever else I need to do next….BUT its still a bad habit!!! and that habit should be used only when necessary and PLEASE do not try to use it at home, at home what you should do the most is to listen and understand ( spouse, children, parents etc…)
March 24th, 2010 at 9:43 pm
I do that all the time. I’ve been trying to stop it, but it’s a horrible habit to break. I just have way too many things going on and I can’t wait for them to take their sweet slow time.
March 31st, 2010 at 3:47 am
Sometimes if the person is saying a sentence, and then seems to stall, looking for a word related to the topic being discussed, I will interrupt with the word, and then the other person will repeat the word and continue on with the thought… is this wrong for me to do? I’d really like to know, because I sometimes get the feeling that they’re actually stuck, so instinctively I want to help out, but am I doing more harm than good?
June 15th, 2010 at 5:28 pm
“but it actually makes the speaker unconsciously feel rushed, nervous, and annoyed; both your pulses speed up, which can cause irritability and a defensive tone to erupt”
Actually it makes you feel completely disrespected and lets your audience (cause that`s all we are to you ppl that chronically do this) know that you don`t really want to know who we are and what we believe in. I give you one chance to stop this crap during a conversation and then I completely shut down and let you make an ass of yourself. You usually think you know where I`m going with the conversation, and you are wrong 99% of the time. So I let you yammer on and continue to interrupt me with your “oh-so-superior“ insights and when you finally say something like `do you know what I mean`or `don`t you think so` trying to get me to wrap up the conversation by letting you know we`re on the same page but you just summed it up first (cause you`re just so smart and fast!) that`s when I drop it on you. No, I say, actually my point was this and I sum it up and listen to you stupidly say “oh…..“ and then I hang up the phone or walk away, suddenly I`m the one that doesn`t have time for you–you`re just too stupid to converse with after all. And some of us don`t let you know that that`s what we`ve done…we`re just silently mocking you instead.
It`s quite fun sometimes!!
It`s a good screening tool too.
July 27th, 2010 at 1:57 pm
Well here’s a kicker: Not only does she interrupt CONSTANTLY, but if you try and regain control of the conversation, she’ll interrupt LOUDER! So she can overtalk you in every sense of the word.
How does one handle that? Apparently me stopping dead in the middle of a sentence and closing my eyes and then repeating what I said after she’s done … isn’t getting it.
August 12th, 2010 at 8:55 am
I had to look this topic up this morning because I met someone in person for the first time after a long and friendly internet correspondence, and she interrupted me to finish all of my sentences, jumping in to guess what I’m going to say and I never got to the end of any sentence, suffering multiple interruptions. I was flabbergasted. In between my attempts to actually express myself (and failing more than half the time) she went on long, completely rambling speeches that went from one topic to another and mentioning people I didn’t know and their mothers-in-law and cousins and then jumping back a topic to something else that was said an hour earlier. I was looking forward to meeting up with this person, who has done me some significant favors in terms of advice and support remotely, and finally had to cut the evening short and go home… I couldn’t take it anymore. This person was like Earful – the more I tried to actually say what I was trying to say, the louder she got. I finally had to surrender and fell silent. I don’t know how anyone can endure this woman – it is completely intolerable.