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So What If I Got Clifford The Big Red Dog Drunk?

This weekend we were sent a Clifford, the bid red dog stuffed animal, along with a beautifully laminated journal containing an entry from each of the class members he spent weekends with in the past. Each page was beautifully written, typed, or hand calligraphied. All were accompany by a montage of pictures showing the quality time each child and their family spent with Clifford. Clifford attended dinners, parties, one family even took him to the dog park…alone. Either I have the craftiest mothers in my class, or these ladies are truly hard-up for companionship.

Ryan’s teacher: I am sorry Jenny; I was unable to accept your pages for the Clifford journal, as there were a few problems. You wrote that he “passed-out” from too much beer and wings while watching the Super Bowl with you and your husband. I don’t know if you are aware that we read these Clifford journals to the class first thing Monday morning.

Crappy Mom, AKA Me: I was not aware of that.
Ryan’s Teacher: I doubt Ryan would appreciate me reiterating how Clifford spent Friday and Saturday as you put it, “ …in his sack, suffocating.” Or that you “…found him sad, lonely, and dehydrated Sunday evening.” I would send him home with you for another weekend, but I fear for his health in your hands, not to mention his sobriety.

Crappy Mom, AKA Me: His sobriety? Had a known was battling alcoholism, I never would have played the drinking game where you chug every time someone scores. In my defense, it was T-Bone’s idea.

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This entry was posted on Monday, February 2nd, 2009 at 2:47 pm and is filed under Mom issues, My Insanity, Neurotic Mommy, childrens television, comedy, dog lovers, everyday rituals, humor, mommy blog, parent issues, parenting, parody, slice of life, spoof, suburban jungle, women's humor. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

12 Responses to “So What If I Got Clifford The Big Red Dog Drunk?”

  1. Cherie Says:
    February 2nd, 2009 at 4:50 pm

    Again, a very delightful scenario. I hope Tanner doesn’t receive the same care as Clifford. Poor Clifford, I just want to know how big he got drinking all those shots, by the way did he happen to turn “BLUE”.

  2. Carol Gershan Says:
    February 2nd, 2009 at 4:58 pm

    Hi Jenny,

    I’m a neighbor of your mom. Look forward to meeting you Feb. 10th.

    Carol

  3. Denee King Says:
    February 2nd, 2009 at 5:55 pm

    I would never invite Clifford over again – a good friend covers for you…especially when fun is involved. Clifford is Red which must mean he was an Arizona fan so what else did they expect the little guy to do? Those teachers obviously aren’t football fans and so if you want to help them I might advise sending them a copy of this:
    http://www.puttingontheblitz.com yeah, that’s right…you have to copy/paste…deal with it! :-)

  4. Denee King Says:
    February 2nd, 2009 at 5:55 pm

    I see I was wrong – ACTIVE LINKS ROCK!

  5. Insanity Kim Says:
    February 2nd, 2009 at 6:19 pm

    I guess I shouldn’t share what I did to the Tickle Me Elmo doll…

  6. Brian Says:
    February 2nd, 2009 at 7:42 pm

    That is funny. We also had Clifford for a week from Zach’s kindergarten class. We only made him smoke crack though. I guess you know nothing about that drug.

  7. Anonymous Says:
    February 2nd, 2009 at 8:15 pm

    Mom Blogs – Blogs for Moms…

    …

  8. Lily Says:
    February 2nd, 2009 at 9:04 pm

    Cute!

  9. Bari Says:
    February 2nd, 2009 at 9:41 pm

    To think that they actually let you have kids is amazing.

  10. pehpot Says:
    February 2nd, 2009 at 10:14 pm

    oh good thing my son’s not into schooling yet.. but I would love to have Clifford at home.. maybe he can help me clean the dishes LOL

  11. rachy Says:
    February 2nd, 2009 at 11:55 pm

    I don’t know, Jenny, but you’re skating on thin ice if a big red dog falls off the wagon right in your own living room……..

  12. Sam Says:
    February 4th, 2009 at 3:10 pm

    heheh. Nice.

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