Awkward V-day Moments With The Kids

I Want to Puke of Love and Other V-Day Inappropriateness After Having KidsThis is still one of my favorite V-Day moments (awkwardness, inappropriateness, and fear for my safety aside).

On February 14th a few years back, Ry, my daughter, then 5 years old, trotted into my room to wish me a happy Valentine’s Day, to hand me a stunning hand-made card, and to neck. 

Sure, they tell you not to make-out with your kids, but sometimes there’s a fine line between so cute and so scary. 

What parent doesn’t secretly love it when their child says they want to marry them (assuming they’re too young for marriage at the time)? I mean, for how many more years are they going to want to hug, snuggle, or hold hands?

“This card is sooo beautiful. Come give Mommy a kiss,”  I said in a very innocent non-romantic way. 

Ry, maybe wanting to show me the magnitude of the holiday, grabbed my face with both hands and planted the biggest soap opera smooch on me. I started to giggle mid-peck… 

“Ummm, okay cutie,”  I said feeling partly amused and partly violated.

“But, Mommy I want one more kiss,” she said as she came in for another.

“My love, we don’t kiss mommies or daddies or brothers or cousins or friends like that. It’s inappropriate.”

“Hey, you wanna go on a date?” she asked, ignoring me.

“What?” I said, wondering if I need a restraining order.

“Yeah, let’s go on a date and get some lollipops!”  She said trying to woo me.

“Sure, I would love to go on a date and get lollipops with you.” 

What, don’t judge me! For how many more years will she want to date me? The days of her asking me to drop her off a block from the mall so she doesn’t have to be seen with her embarrassing mom, are around the corner.  If she wants a lollipop date, I’m in. 

“Let’s go, but we gotta stop making-out.”

“But Mom, I love you sooo much” she said squeezing me tight.

Awwww, let’s just hug and be in this moment, I thought until she followed up with, “So much, I want to puke of love!”

Okay, so she’s a bit confused, but she said it in her “sexy voice,” which means it was a compliment. I will overlook the fact that it also means it was an attempt to pick me up.

PS my son J, who was 8 at the time, have me a card that simply read:  “Will you be my valentine?  I will be yours, if you will be mine… just asking.”

To you, my insecure child, that doesn’t want to make-out with me, but I hope still wants to marry me, “Yes, 1000 times yes.  You make me want to puke of love!!!”

I hope you have a HAPPY V-DAY!!! even if it’s mildly inappropriate.

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Related Post: What Those V-Day Hearts Should REALLY Say After Marriage and Children

28 thoughts on “Awkward V-day Moments With The Kids

  1. Karen Baitch Rosenberg

    LOVE IT! Hope to meet my little cousins one day, before they’re not so cute anymore. I still love rubbing my girls’ tussies (clothes ON) but they won’t let me do it anymore. Daughter #1 came into my room this morning and announced, after learning what my husband got for me, that I had to seriously “up the ante.” Apparently the chocolate bar with almonds and a homemade card I am giving him is no comparison to what I’m getting. Sigh ~ the ONE year he decides it’s not just a Hallmark holiday! Running back out to the stores … Enjoy ~ K.

    Reply
  2. Kristen

    My kids regularly attempt to smooch me on the lips and I don’t even know what to say…I hate to squelch the love, but I do feel a bit inappropriate about the whole thing…at least there isn’t any tongue.

    Reply
  3. Insanitykim

    As soon as she said, “I want to puke of love!” I realized you don’t need to lock her in the closet…just yet… 😉

    Thanks for the linkage! I won’t kiss you, but how about a nice high five? That is the truest expression of love anyway, isn’t it??

    And you’re on the buffet table…it gets a little warm under those lights, but some of those other dishes will compliment you well…

    *high five with sanitized hand*

    Reply
  4. Gretchen Seefried

    OMG, this is just too funny for words-but somehow you found them. I love that kids are politically incorrect!

    Freud must be be nodding sagely in his grave, and waiting for the tables to turn.

    Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
  5. The Business Coach for Moms

    ADORABLE and sooo not pc!

    My 6ys totally skipped me this Valentine’s day and made a card for his 16yo brother! For a second I felt unloved but my 4ys made up for it with a beautifully, illegible scribbled up card. Every time he reads it to me it says something different but just as sweet.
    Happy Valentine’s Day!

    Reply
  6. Bari

    It’s a lucky mom who has the forever love of a child. These are beautiful times to etch in your mind. As you’ve already seen by the time a child is eight the undying love for mom stage wanes but thank your lucky stars it only wanes a little.

    Reply
  7. rachy

    jenny, clearly this 5-yr. old going on 15 has seen tooooooo much about relationships and love. and these days you have popular young actresses who with boyfriends and girlfriends. confusing enough for a teen, but it must be so confusing for your sweet, innocent, little angel.

    well, i guess i’m glad it’s you and not me! i wouldn’t know how to handle this! thank goodness, i have boys!

    but the “puke of love” got me chuckling out loud! while i’m sure she’ll grow out of this, i’m wondering if she needs to go “cold turkey” on all “girl” media. my boys were watching winnie the pooh and thomas the tank engine at that age! must be that evil disney and their preen girl entertainment that’s corrupted her. i always knew that mouse in orlando was evil!

    Reply
  8. admin Post author

    Oh, I love the cards that are scribbled and read different every time.
    Karen, seriously, no complaining about nice gifts.
    IKim- right, the puke comment means I still have a chance to work on this one btw, do I look like the lead singer or sing like her?
    Disney channel is all about the smooching, that iCarly is cute, but slutty.
    J from the B

    Reply
  9. jenna mccarthy

    I was out of town a few weeks ago and called my kids to say goodnight. My 4YO told me, “Mom when you get home I am going to kiss you until your lips bleed!” Call me a sicko, but that was music to my ears. (And on an only semi-related note, on v-day she said, “Mom, if you’ll be my valentine, I’ll let you lick my feet!” I replied, “That’s kinda gross.” Her retort: “You wouldn’t think so if you were a cat!” She sort of had me there. :)

    Reply
  10. VictoriaH

    I love your story! I remember when my daughter used to do that when she was five (way before icarley). The kisses would go on forever, and I would pretend to be smothering after about 40 seconds. No, they don’t last forever…Later, when she was a teen, she would hug me for too long, until I would squirm and say, “Ok, too much physical attention!” I guess that’s what I get for attachment parenting :)
    Now I have a six year old boy, and while he doesn’t give me the movie kiss, it is nice that he wants to kiss me on the mouth – it sure won’t be happening in five more years! I am appreciating each little bit of sugar while I am getting it.

    Reply
  11. Pingback: Is there Valentine’s Day Romance after Kids |Jenny from the Blog | The Suburban Jungle

  12. kiki

    i’ve had to have the “that’s inappropriate” talk with my son on many occasions and he is six. i just think he is confused by commercials and promos he sees for tween/teenaged Disney/Nick shows. my husband and i aren’t very PDAish. family members tell us we should be more affectionate in front of him to show him our love, but we’re just not touchy-feely kind of people. i love it when my son wants to hug or kiss me since i know i will be begging for his affection when he’s a teen and he only wants to borrow the car from me or tells me i embarrass him. last year he was hanging out with my bestie’s daughter on her parents’ bed. they were watching a movie and he leaned in and kissed her on the lips. at the time we should’ve talked to them about it but instead we thought it was the cutest thing ever and celebrated their first kiss by jumping up and down and acting like giddy school girls instead of mothers. i figure it’s all innocent now anyway and i’ll worry about it (and lock him in his room) when he is 13.

    oh, and when i read “1000 times yes” my mind went straight to the flick Pride and Prejudice and Jane’s acceptance of Bingley’s proposal.

    Reply
  13. lori Stefanac (Lola)

    This is so weird. I am reading this post for the first time (because I’m pretty sure I would remember PUKE OF LOVE!) and there’s a comment from ME but it was in response to your “Is There Valentine’s Day Romance After Kids” post…not this one. I wouldn’t bother saying anything except that my response clearly has nothing to do with THIS post so I look psychotic.

    Just wanted to clear that up.
    Not psychotic.

    Byt the way? Love this post! I only wish my boys wanted to kiss me on the lips instead of being 100% certain that I (like all females) possess cooties.

    Reply
    1. Jenny from the blog Post author

      Lori- you are correct. PUKE OF LOVE is hard to forget… also, I reposted your comment with a link to your site because I truly love it, but must have put in the wrong story. MY BAD… will fix it! PS you look no more psychotic than any of your other comments. PHEW.

      Reply
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  16. Bari

    It’s so sweet that she loves you so very much. You must be a great mommy. Look at it this way, some day she’ll make someone really happy by being so adoring and maybe she’ll even puke all over them.

    Reply

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