Ok, maybe I’m the unpopular voice on this one — when everyone seems all exited to cozy up around the flat screen and eat things that are fried, out of oversized bowls, buttttt, I freakin’ hate football season… It starts weeks before, when my hubby begins reading those overpriced NFL fantasy magazines and sets up his game plan.
There are lists upon lists: who to choose. In what order. Who to choose in the event that those picks are already chosen. Who may have trade value later in the season. Are they fit enough going into this season, were they partying too much in the off season, are they having marital problems or anything that may effect their psyche’s? I imagine this is what he’s thinking as he mumbles to himself in his makeshift War Room, AKA my kids’ playroom. Frankly, there are times I half expect to walk in on my man in full camo. Though, to blend into our house he’d have to paint himself in zebra print with a bold pop of color, and maybe a chair rail across his chest.
Do you feel my pain? Would YOUR hub miss your child’s open house to attend his draft? — Oh, mine did… 2 years running, which is why I’m fairly certain he’s not exactly sure where the turn is to get to school.
By the time NFL season kicks-off, I already detest it, and I haven’t even had to walk in on my man and his friends cluttering up my family room, watching our NFL Sunday Ticket. I mean, I could be using that very space to watch something totally enthralling, like The Real Housewives, or something educational with my kiddos, like Adventure Time.
Fine, so I wouldn’t necessarily put the family room to better use, but I could at least walk around in my undies. And fine, I’ll admit it’s super cute to see my son and hubby get all into a game and run around high-fiving while they figure out everyone else’s fantasy scores for the week. And ok, though the other teams have “awesome,” ahem, names like: The Cunning Stunts, MO BJ’s, HandRocket, and Spider Pig, I do enjoy that our team is named, Jenny’s Coattails. Annnd yes, it IS refreshing to know that if NFL season ends with a win for Jenny’s Coattails, there will be an insanely expensive pair of shoes in it for me.
Frankly, I deserve them, for keeping most of my complaints in writing and allowing prime time use of the comfy sofa.
You’re welcome Mark!
Ladies who may agree with me: My advice — when the game is on, hand your man something spicy, fried, and covered in a mayo based sauce… and a beer. By the end of the season I think we can all justify a new pair of boots whether he wins or loses. I’ve got my eyes on these:
Soooo cute right?
My husband actually had a friend come over yesterday at noon to play NFL Blitz on the Xbox. The dude brought a Heggie’s frozen pizza. It was like a college dorm around here. I prefer him fixing stuff around here, and I’m getting old waiting.
I know why don’t their friends come over with tool boxes?????
Thankfully my husband doesn’t watch football. We’re both so uneducated in terms of footballness, it’s almost embarrassing.
Okay, I’ll admit it.. I’M the one who is uneducated in footballness, my husband can actually hold his own. It’s embarrassing…
Jessica recently posted…My Very Stupid Thing.
Jessica come over any Sunday for an education and some beer, I mean lattes.
My husband, thank the lord, is not all into football. HE IS however all about soccer. While I don’t mind watching the world cup every 4 yrs., I cannot stand following the European leagues, the English, Italian, German…etc. Now mind you, we end up buying these expensive channels on top of all the sport channels we already have (in 3 different languages). He flips from one to the next to the next, so on his day off, say he used his 8 hr. of work to sit around and watch it, that’s almost 4 games, give or take. Now that of course while we have a few family members over, who all tend to think I am the hired help. SO at the end of that craziness, I go buy myself a new outfit and a new pair of shoes… ahh yaaa
Ohhhh, I think soccer is worse!!! You deserve an outfit as well as shoes!!!
I love when you refer to mark as “your man”!
And spider pig is taking it all home this year–including the shoes!
This is the article you chose to comment on, huh? You just can’t handle me having my own new shoes.
Im right there with ya! Only my husband can not watch football with other people around, he screams (like you can hear him outside screams) claps so loudly (it actualy gives me a headache) and paces- all over the room. And God-forbid the Saints lose, he pouts all week! And the fantasy crap- don’t get me started. Apparently when and if he wins I don’t even know about it much less se any dividends. Which is fine. But let me add, having a football obsession is a lot better than a lot of other obsessions he could have- less expensive too. He could love cars or motorcycles…
Sooo true Melissa… unless he bets on the games! How about this one… if you walk into the room and the game starts to take a turn, you must leave!
Im totally into the new boots. The’re gorgeous. Can I borrow yours cause I’m gonna watch the Ravens, the Dolphins and the Jets this year…oh, pass the fries
Hmmm, I don’t see you eating the fries!!!
My husband will and would miss everything. Apparently Sunday is only the sabbath from the beginning of September until the 1st weekend in February. I am suppose to know this and just accept it. Our daughter was born on 10/3/05. It was a Monday, but I labored on Sunday. I did my part. 1) I did not deliver on Sunday, and 2) after the hospital sent me home to dilate more, I stayed up in bed moaning in pain so he could watch his beloved Seahawks without distraction. He did come up to check on me during quarter changes and half time~ what a guy! It pisses me off that NOTHING can interrupt football, but he knows how I feel, he doesn’t care, so I am done fighting!
Please, I have this with baseball too! The Yanks HAD TO sweep the world series in order for it not to effect our wedding!!! Oh, they did because they knew what was good for them.
Love the shoes, get me a pair…my husband will watch any football game eventhough his favorite teams are the Dolphins, the Raven and any team that beats the Indiannapolis Colts i.e. after they left in the middle of the night from their beloved Baltimore…he holds a grudge forever.
We’ll try to get a twoffer!!!
Jenny, I’m in the same boat. Goddamn fantasy football is the bane of my existence this time of year. I have 4 kids…all boys…and none of them gives a rats ass about football. My husband yells at the TV, and they are swinging from the living room curtains. I can deal with it…it’s when he turns to me and tries to engage me in the discussion that I lose it. He rewinds something, and demands, “Did you SEE THAT? Right THERE! THAT!” I’m like, WTF, I just wanna watch Diners, Drive-ins and Dives. Moron.
LOL!!! I know I love the rewind, and I’m like “I didn’t want to watch it the first time!”
This year my husband scheduled his fantasy football pick ON MY BIRTHDAY weekend! He takes 9 adolescent 50 year olds to our lake house to eat, drink and complain about the sex they are not having with their wives. The good news?? I did get caught up on 8 hours of taped Housewives from every corner of the country!
I feel so fortunate my husband completely ignores the four codes of football that riddle my country. He also ignores cricket, basketball, racing of every sort – the lot. He does fiddle though. With electronic doobies he installs around the house. Put it this way, turning on the air conditioning would be bloody tricky if you were not present during the official training day. You can’t really win.
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