The Suburban Jungle

My 8-year-old is definitely a “mama’s boy,” and it turns out that my extra mothering and snuggling with him may help him later on in life. Read More

Usually, separation anxiety happens when children are in preschool, which means… it’s kinda not mandatory.  But, let’s be honest, the socialization is great for our kids, and it’s nice to have time for a shower.  It’s such a ridiculous experience if you think about it, you’re torturing your child and yourself and the whole time you’re asking, “For what?”  For three hours of freedom, which you’re going to spend worried and upset?  When it’s happening, all your parenting instincts are telling you to go in and save your child from this injustice and then finally the teacher pops out and says something like, “It’s okay mom, she’s doing great.”  Meanwhile, you hear the dry heaving in the back ground.

1)      Never sneak out.

This is the number one rule in leaving a sad child.  It’s so tempting because one minute your child is screaming and then they’re distracted by an old friend or a fish tank for a split second and you’re like, “wahoo.”   As soon as the fish or the friend get boring, and they will, your child is searching for you.  Now, you’ve lost her trust and the cycle starts over, except this time you’re not there to reassure her.

2) Always tell them, “Mommy will be back.”

Will you come back?  It’s such a gut wrenching thing to hear.  You need to let them know you’ll both be fine without each other for a short span of time and that you always come back.  Let’s be honest sometimes mommy never leaves.  I spent the first two days of my son’s nursery school in the coffee break room.  It was this tiny little closet with enough room for me and a coffee machine and me.  By the end of the day I was shaking and I’m not sure if it was all the caffeine or my own fear.

3) Make your exit short and sweet. Read the rest of this entry »

I’m now a Parenting Correspondent for NBC 6 Miami and the Second Segment on Healthy Homework Habits is in!!!
If you’re in the South Florida area, you can see my segment on Friday’s South Florida Today show, which is between 11AM and Noon. Please tune in or tivo and tell your friends. I’ll bring you 5 tips each week to help tackle parenting issues that we all deal with like separation anxiety and homework habits, to learning to say “no,” a skill I’m still perfecting, and by perfecting I mean failing miserably at. ENJOY and Thanks for the support!

Okay, I’m going to get this rant out as fast as possible because I’m sure to have something shoved in my mouth if I take too long!  I don’t understand why all the adults, AKA servants, want to shut me up!  Are they afraid of what I might say?  Do they fear my political beliefs?  My position on global warming or the impending destruction of our economy?  The truth is, though I have interesting thoughts on all of those topics, I just want to shoot the sh*t.  Maybe talk about a beautiful shade of red, or point out a toy that should be “MINE MINE MINE,” but they don’t even hear me out.  They quickly stifle my requests with a binky, a boob, or a spoon full of mush.  READ MORE

Here is the original article I did for iVillage I gave you a bit more than a teaser this time because a lot was edited out.

When I first sat down to write this article I couldn’t help but snicker; not because this seems like an amusing predicament to be in, but because the topic tested my maturity level.  A nervous wave came over me as I reluctantly imagined this scenario and all I could think was “Awkward.”  As awkward as this circumstance is for the parent, consider the gut wrenching embarrassment from a child’s point of view.  I know, simply empathizing could make you red in the face.  In fact, at 30-whatever I am, I still wouldn’t want to have a conversation on the subject with one of my own parents.

So, what’s a parent to do when they’re confronted with such a touchy (no pun intended) situation?   Read the rest of this entry »

Why did I put her on such a pedestal with my kids. I’ll never learn.

Miley Cyrus has shown warning signs of crossing over the dark side of fame since her racy teenage photo shoot. That said, it should come as no surprise that since the final episode of Hannah Montana, she seems to be going out of her way to shed any remnants of her goody-two-shoes image. First, she channeled a stripper at the Teen Choice Awards, then her erotic performance in the Can’t Be Tamed video had critics across the globe comparing her to Britney Spears. Now, early reports on her new movie, LOL: Laughing Out Loud, prove that Cyrus can’t be tamed on the big screen as well.

Her character is reported to be sexually active, pot smoking, and seduces girls Read the rest of this entry »

Okay, so here it is: I’m never going to that g-d forsaken place you call school. I know it’s totally anti-establishment of me to say it, but I went to visit that place with my brother and after one look, I was out.

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Okay I must admit, like all of you, I see that times are tough, but I just got off the phone with a friend and caught myself saying something that implied that things have really gone south.

Me:  “Hey, can you pick me up a buffalo chicken sandwich at Fresh Market?”

Friend: “Sure.”

Me:  “Don’t forget to ask for the blue cheese dressing.  If it’s not in the container, they give it to you on the side… and it’s free.”

And it’s free??? Really, did I just use that phrase to imply that it’s freeness would make asking for it worth her while?  Like she wouldn’t be willing to spring for it?  Read the rest of this entry »

We need to have an intervention for that Facebook baby they caught with a bong.  I can’t believe it.  It usually takes a while for babies to be introduced to drugs.  Sure, you hear the stories about moms who swear by a bit of bourbon in the bottle, though my mom calls them misinformed, but this is out of control.  First the baby chain smoking on YouTube and now this baby tokin’ on Facebook.  What is up with the babies of today?  READ MORE

Warning to all parents, the web character Fred Figglehorn is getting his own movie — Fred:The Movie — which will air on Nickelodeon Sept. 17th. You may be asking yourself, “Who is this Fred, and why am I being warned of his impending flick?” Fred, a character developed and portrayed by teen Lucas Cruikshank, may be one of the most annoying personas ever created.Read More

Baby Bong Facebook Photo Lands Mom in Jail

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On a summer trip to Hilton Head, SC I realized that I may actually be the most neurotic mom on the planet. I first noticed this when we were at the park and children where climbing to the top limbs of these winding ancient oaks. In Florida, we don’t have many climbing trees, unless you have the ability to shimmy up a palm. Growing up in Maryland, I remember climbing those trees, and of course the memories that stand out most to a neurotic mom are the one’s of the kids that fell out and broke their own limbs.

So, there I was an inch from my child, ready to steady him at his first errant step. At the same time I was prepared to jump under some random 10yr old Evel Knievel, 25ft up, and let him use my frame to break his impending fall. “Where are that kid’s parents?” I asked my husband, as I was quite certain if they had witnessed his indiscretion in the tree, they would be giving him a stern talking to. Then over walked his dad. The kid said, “Who thinks, I’m gonna fall off and die?” To which the sensitive dad replied, “Well don’t do it halfway. If you only break something we’re gonna end up spending the whole night at the hospital.” Maybe you found that obnoxious, maybe you found it funny, I found it horrifying. But it seems that the general parenting attitude – outside of these very sheltered towns I’ve managed to live in – is one of ease and nonchalance. My husband has this attitude; he believes everything will be all right, whereas I think those crazy things that seem so rare are common occurrences and second guess my every decision, for fear of what those choices may have unleashed upon my family.

One of these choices was to sign the kids up for a day of Adventure Camp. I wanted to take advantage of the amazing golf. Scratch that, my husband wanted to take advantage of the amazing golf. He’ll be happy I mentioned “him,” “scratch,” and “golf” in the same sentence. The Adventure Camp wasn’t so adventurous. It was mainly 4 and 5 year olds and boasted a 1:3 counselor to camper ratio. They took the kids crabbing on the beach and then raced their crabs. Then they brought them to a shaded pool, low enough to stand in.  Though I didn’t really care if we golfed or not, I reminded myself that sometimes your husband needs to do a bit of what he wants on a family vacation. Since, I rarely if ever put him first, or second, or third for that matter, I decided to let my kids enjoy a day at camp while we golfed. I know, it was the best choice for my kids and my husband, but for me, it was the one that caused the most anxiety. The other parents were in and out at drop off, but I spent quite some time saying my goodbyes, and assessing the counselors. I thoroughly interviewed them, asking about their lifesaving credentials, their head count procedures, and how I could contact them to check on my kids.

How many moms know how debilitating it is to worry over so many things at once? How hard it is to just enjoy something when scary scenarios keep popping into your head? I was relieved when we saw them at the pool in the afternoon; a surprise encounter that was only slightly planned on my part. Then in the hour between the pool and camp pickup a torrential downpour ensued and I had to start worrying all over again. Would the trolley skid or would someone slip on the wet brick pathways? After pick up I could breathe more freely, but I couldn’t help wonder, what kind of disservice I’m doing to my children by not allowing them to do things that other parents seem to have no problem with?

Comment Question:

What do you think, can you relate? Are you a worrier or easy goer?